Essay about Australia: The Patriotic Retirement Plan

Submitted By guiltyfate
Words: 595
Pages: 3
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Subject: Dear Ms Gillard

I absolutely love this, who-ever thought it up is a genius, they need congratulating. enjoy

Dear Ms. Gillard,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing Australia 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan..

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them $1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire, ten million job openings – unemployment fixed.
2) They MUST buy a new Australian car, ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed.
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed.
4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university - Crime rate fixed.
5) They MUST buy $100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut them down.

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

Also, let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home, this way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks, they'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out, they would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance, bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them, a guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell, they would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose, they would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education, simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request, private, secure rooms for
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