English III 1301
4 November 2013 Diversity at the Mall The very essence of your local shopping center is sometimes under-mined and most of the time goes unnoticed if you don’t have a watchful eye. For this reason, I am writing this paper pertaining to the types of people that occupy the malls of today. The four main categories of mall goers are: “The Guy Just Trying to Survive”, Bored Teenagers, The Family Circus and The Hot Topic Goth. They can be recognized by these key features: the rushed behavior of “The Guy Just Trying To Survive”, The feckless and hamstrung herd of mallrats (one of the terms coined in for the bored teenagers.), The classic squadron of family and the “miserable” teenagers posting up around the Hot Topic. The first type is about the “The Guy Just Trying To Survive”. Everyone has seen him at some point, scurrying to finishing his (or in the rarest of cases, her.) necessities in some hellhole excuse for retail. Not to mention leaving with your sanity intact. This requires traversing through the psychotic labyrinth of stores and cancer. You can spot them by looking for the sweaty, active people, actively doing something towards getting the hell out of there. The mall is their Vietnam; most of the time they don’t want to be there. He/she enters with only one thing in mind- “to get what I need and to get out.” If you can spot them, you can probably infer that you would go drinking with the guy. Feeling bad for him and all, and not to mention yourself. Being there in the first place. Overall, “The Guy Just Trying To Survive” has a very simple mindset. As for the bored teenagers, the story is completely different. Bored teenagers usually travel in packs, just like their counterpart, The Family Circus. Bored teenagers congregate while walking wherever they please. Wandering around aimlessly, harassing mall employees and laughing at anyone that isn’t them; they are the easiest to spot for these reasons. Not to mention the most clichéd also. Referring back to the mall rats. Oh, the mallrats. With an astounding feature of irritability. A dyspeptic teenager who spends a large amount of time at the mall with other dyspeptic peers of their age. No one can help, it is best to stay out of their way before you end up going to jail for using your Concealed Handgun License to the fullest extent for the wrong reasons. The family circus, the Brady Bunch. These groups normally carry along their exuberant piles of kid with them wherever they go, if they couldn’t go hire a babysitter to do us the favor of watching the kids that should’ve ended up as stains on a mattress. You can spot them by following the cries and wants of something. Or by looking for a middle aged man that is carrying a fanny pack or baby bag. Their kids like knocking merchandise over, whining and crying. Which drones and resonates throughout the atrium of the mall? The father (or father figure.) usually spends his time looking at anything that can give him a