My Recovery

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Pages: 9

Throughout my recovery God has presented me with challenge to make me a human being. When I first entered recovery I was unwilling, closed and determined not to stay clean, my only desire was to get my children back and go back to the way I was living. But God had a different plan, and His would force me to face my demons head on and change my very nature. He presented me with jobs that would stretch my ability to communicate and deal with people. He gave me people that would love me; as a mother and father should and learn hope to cope when they were taken away through death and family obligation. He would teach me to be completely dependent on Him. He gave me friends that would change not only who I was but also who I was becoming. He would …show more content…
Over the last 5 year of recovery I have transformed my style to that of collaborator, I can’t tell you when or even how that happened it just did, mostly through finding hope, faith and love. In life I am constantly challenged to act and behavior in a way that glorifies God and sometime it is the most difficult thing for me to do. Because my roots want to engulf the new me, my roots like to tell me I am “BAD”. Through lots of DBT and cognitive therapy, self-actualizations and daily regimen of prayer, meditation and bible reading I have come to accept and love myself, including the parts of me that are challenging, because it is those very parts that help me to bestow love, compassion and empathy to others. My life and pain is being recycled and used to help …show more content…
How do you recognize authentic love, when you have been taught that love is a condition of “good” behavior, if love is the answer to conflict you need to be able to recognize it in other and yourself, how do you get there?
4. What I am searching for is emotional intelligence, the ability to breakdown the layers of feeling that make of the instance of conflict.
Through the use of reality model and understanding better the lies that I allow to wander in my head about boundaries I do understand the difference between boundaries and avoidance. And once I absorbed that information, my definition of love changed, while the old definition of love is that is it something to be earned will alway plus or minus be present, love does not passively accept everything, sometimes love is hard, sometime love must separate, love is not some fairytale ideation that nothing will ever go wrong and everyone is perfect, love accepts and protects. Love is compassionate and empathetic and understanding, there are very many different forms of love and love needs boundaries. I believe that I am one my way to gaining emotional intelligence and learning to breakdown the layers of conflict, and understanding the difference between position and interest is a main component of this. Comprehending that as humans, everyone beliefs system is different and they rules our lives, behavior patterns and actions. Conflict resolution, like forgiveness is a tool and a skill that will continue to be fine turned