A Country's First Duty to Its Citizens Is to Protect Them. Therefore It Is Logical That Defence Should Take Up a Significant Proportion of the National Budget. Essay

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first, i want to thank mr writefix for your advice on my recent essay : technology in prison. i wish i could become a child with simple thinking. this may help me to find the simplest way to generate ideas.
Here is another essay that i've done. could you give me some feedbacks if you have time ? thanks a lot. :D
"One solution to decline in moral values in today’s world would be for men and women to return to their traditional roles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?" Roles of men and women are an important part contributing to moral values in the society. Many people claim that women’s participation in the workforce leads to moral decline in the community. However, I believe women going to work will have more more knowledge and
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Then children probably involve in some wicked things as they feel receive no care. Moreover, as most works require masculine character and aggressive behavior to be tough enough to compete in such competence market, women would lose their feminine character. As a result, their relationship in family can be vulnerable, eroding the social values in long term.
On the other hand, taking part in the society does not only help women in terms of financial issues but also spread the sexual equality. Children, in particular, girls will notice that there is no discrimination amongst genders to present in a society. Therefore, it helps to establish equality -one of the moral values-in the society. Moreover, we cannot to deprive women from freedom one of the basic rights to everyone. They should be free to choose what activities they like, because I think put limitation is not ethical.
In conclusion, I cannot see a link between working’s women in a society and the declining of moral values. I do believe that we should think of other factors contributing to this issue.
Women play a key role in the moral values of a society. Some people claim that today women’s participation in the workforce is responsible for declining morality in the community. However, I believe that participating in society could be of great benefit to both women and communities.
The major reason that why some people disagree with women’ activity is the fear of losing supervision. Women having job