Guilt – After abusing you, your partner feels guilt, but not over what he's done. He’s more worried about the possibility of being caught and facing consequences for his abusive behavior.
Excuses – Your abuser rationalizes what he or she has done. The person may come up with a string of excuses or blame you for the abusive behavior—anything to avoid taking responsibility.
"Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
Fantasy and planning – Your abuser begins to fantasize about abusing you again. He spends a lot of time thinking about what you’ve done wrong and how he'll make you pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
Set-up – Your abuser sets you up and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing you.
HOW WOMEN CAN BREAK THIS CYCLE
One of the first steps is telling someone about the abuse, whether it is a friend, or a psychologist.
Talking about the abuse can be one of the hardest parts of the abuse. But once you get it out in the open, you feel like less of the pressure is on you and you know you have a support system who will help get you out of the relationship.
WHY WOMEN STAY IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS
The number one response to women interviewed said they stayed in the relationship due to fear. Most women feel that they are in more danger…