10th February 2014
One Day at a Time
I never thought that at my age, I would be an addict, or addicted to anything; that I wouldn’t be partying or getting embarrassingly wasted on my 21st birthday. I never thought about a lot of things at my age. I never dreamed I would have made it through and graduated high school or that the day after I graduated I would move out of my grandma’s house to a very different neighborhood 400 miles away. Did I ever think I would hold down a job, have a car, or be living in my very own apartment? I never imagined this would be what I considered successful. Never did I think I would get the opportunity to experience the education that I’m receiving, thinking I was never smart enough. I had this crappy image of myself all mapped out. To my surprise I am the complete opposite. The typical stereotypes of addicts, as well as addiction are wrong.
I never knew that thousands of people get together every year and talk about how they used to use drugs or alcohol and how they don’t anymore. A lot of people don’t know the struggle of being addicted to something. Thanks to Narcotics Anonymous I now know how to live a life with meaning, with purpose. Everyone has this image of who and what addicts are, they’re wrong. The rich lady who owns the big house down the street and drives a 2014 mustang, the woman that you envy, she’s an addict. It does not matter how much or how little you own or how successful you may be, it’s about how you handle the ups and downs that come along with it. Addiction is not so much the want to use drugs but the need to fill that empty or hurt void. It seems that the common factor is not being able to deal with those painful feelings or situations that we all face on a daily basis. It is all based on fear, the fear of feelings, the fear of pain, and the fear of life in general. Everyone has their own unique story before coming into the rooms of recovery but the same goes for their story while in the rooms. Not everyone can understand or embrace the message but you can only take it one day at a time. Narcotics Anonymous is the best way to fight against the demon at hand, addiction, so long as you work your own program and place your faith into it. Some may make the mistake of believing that once you have some clean time under your belt, you’re no longer in need of help when in all honesty that is when you need help the most. Addiction and recovery have not always been a big topic in the community, maybe addiction has more than recovery, but it is still just the basic stereotypes, not the actual facts that maybe people should know. It should be known that it does not make the addict a demon but someone that is fighting demons daily.
I believe that any kind of addiction can be powerful and life consuming but I can only speak for the addiction that I struggle with. Unfortunately it is something that is not only life consuming but constantly mind consuming. Fortunately I have Narcotics Anonymous in order to maintain my sobriety. The program has given me a new way to live and a higher power to believe in. Obviously, not every situation will result in my favor but I have learned, from not only the program itself but those involved, to deal with situations with principals. While addiction may seem to be all full of negativity, bad decisions, and bad outcomes, I believe that it does actually make you a better and stronger person. Addicts reunite all throughout the world, every day, and it makes each and every addict stronger as an individual, as well as a group. Each and every one of us has our own higher power that we put all of our faith into and rely on to get us through rollercoasters of emotions and not so great days. When you really think about it, a lot of what is taught in Narcotics anonymous can be used in the daily lives of anybody who has either hit rock bottom or is not exactly far from it, it saves lives. It has been almost 3 years since I let the power…