How do we use new media in our relationships?
Cell phones, text, call, facetime, internet, social networks
Impact media has one relational progression?
Self Disclosure- personal info on public sites
Relationship Status- markers for relationship progression
Superficial Communication- don’t have to deepen communication or commit
Know what benefits of media for long distance relatinoships
More frequent and varied communication channels
Allows for more ways to feel connected
Shy individuals- use facebook more. Attitudes toward internet is positive. Few friends on facebook
Lonely individuals- time online doesn’t erase emotional lonliness. Miss interactions bc of computer. Always lonely even when online
What should people not do in media use?
Once its electronic its there forever. (sexting) (unintentional audience)
Professor student interaction (emails) email language (credible)
What should be DO in media use?
THINK about how you use internet and media cell phones
Don’t assume deletion means its gone.
Relational Influence or Dominance Defined- perceived ability to shape anothers feelings thoughts or behaviors.
Influence or dominance is usually shared and traded off in relationships no one is dominant all the time.
Relational Influence Principles- what predicts who has more dominance
1. Priciple of Least Interest
a. Person who cares the least will have the greatest amount of control
2. Principle of Most relational alternatives
a. Person who has the most relational alternatives will be dominant
3. Principle of Resource Control
a. Person who controls most of the resources is more dominant
Interaction Dominance- use our communication to exert more dominance
Strategies- increase volume, interrupt, talk more, talk fast, issue instructions. (Shape others perception)
Non assertive beating around the bush
Assertive Communication- effective- communicating your own rights thoughts opinion desires etc directly while at the same time respectin the rights thoughts and opinions of others. Standing up for yourself trying not to hurt others.
Distinguish from aggression and non assertive communication.
Aggressive- communicate thoughts/feelings, but hurt others in the process.
Non assertive- beating around the bush
Reactive Affect- confronted with aggression communication/ feel threat
Assertive communication as a tool- too concerned with others feelings so we don’t consider our own feelings and become overly compliant.
Benefits of Communicating Assertively
Assure fair treatment
Nonverbal componenets of Assertive comm-
Assertive facial expression
Big gestures- aggressive
Small gestures- non assertive
Tone of voice- few pauses, clear.
Verbal model of assertive communication ( ERA )
a. Communication to others that you know how they feel
2. Rationale- answers why you bringing the issues to the persons attention
3. Action- what you want done after statement.
5 types of power
1. Reward power
2. Coercive power- power to punish or take away
3. Legitamte power- title/rank
4. Expert power- experience knowledge
5. Referent power- respect you
Intepersonal Conflict- when attitudes and behaviors of one person interfere with or create obstacles for another. Diff than disagreement. Includes negative emtions. Obstacles.
Sources of Interpersonal Conflict
1. Different goals
2. Diffways of achieving
3. Diff interpersonal needs
4. Diff expectations of behavior
Attitudes about Conflict
1. Management Vs Resolution
a. Management dealing with it
b. Resolution- get rid of it
2. Win Lose Orientation :bad idea
a. Relationships aren’t meant to be competitive
3. If we have conflict its terminal: fear of fighting.
4. The work is worth it
a. Work thorugh it
Ineffective Coflict Styles
1. Avoiders- ppl who hate arguing and will avoid discussing conflict at all costs