I am a drunk. I drink like I breath oxygen. To me, a beer bottle is as sexy as the body of a woman. Alcohol seduces me but not too long ago that seduction lead me to a DUI. That DUI then lead me to prison and a order from the court demanding I enroll into the A.A which began my journey towards sobriety.
January 1, 2015, would you believe this? I was scheduled to attend my first A.A meeting on New Year’s Day, the following day where everyone I know got pissed. So here I go, pissed off and sober. The room where these, including I, sober drunk idiots met up. The only thing that used to get me smiling was when I had a beer up in my hands. At the end of the room was this rectangular table with this nice white tablecloth and orange juice, water bottles and cupcakes. The first thing I did was walk up to the table and grabbed a beer. Oops, I meant a cup of orange juice. Right as I put the tip of the Styrofoam cup in my mouth a guy comes up to me and stars to have a conversation, “so what are you here for” he asked.
I new that he was not any different from me, or any body else in that room, but still I was nervous to answer that question, Maybe because even if hadn’t heard my A.A peers stories yet and it didn’t matter how worse everybody else’s situation was: I new that what I had done destroyed and hurt my family even worse than how I had hurt my self. Looking directly to his eyes and hoping for a non-judgmental comment, with a low voice I answer: “ I have been drinking to the point where even knowing that I have cancer in my liver, I cant stop and it doesn’t matter to me any more”. His eyes were wide open, and I new that he was thinking the same thing that I had heard from everyone else. Doesn’t feel to you like suicidal?
Someone in the front row finally stood up and said, “My name’s Albert, and I’m an alcoholic.” The group responded with a less-than-enthusiastic, “Hi, Albert.” it turned out, he was running the meeting, although in a very loose fashion. I’m sure they recognized I was the new guy, because they started going around the room for introductions. “Hi, I’m so-and-so and I’m