Asdfany Land of the Asdfanians Essay

Submitted By justinesteele
Words: 537
Pages: 3

Asdfany, home of the Asdfanians, is a small coconut shaped country located in the Bermuda triangle. This country takes up about .000000000000000000003 percent of the world. The Asdfanians live on a very strict diet of orange juice and birthday cake. Because of this, they’re sometimes called the Birthdaycaketists but this term is not politically correct. Their official language is Crayola. This unique language is a mixture of Cray the language of crayons and Ola the language of penguins.
They also love purple cats. They love them so much that in the year 18,788,329 all of the Asdfanians turned into purple cats! There was one major problem with this. Asdfanians are allergic to purple cats. Everyone was always sick. Asdfanian doctors diagnosed this situation as a disease called Felinepurponosis. This is when one is a purple cat while simultaneously being allergic to purple cats. Meaning they are allergic to themselves. Due to this inevitable disease most Asdfanians only live for about, on average, 2.872 minutes. Luckily, Asdfanians have incredibly rapid growth. They are birthed within 3 seconds of conception, and are aged 21 after 30 seconds of life. They also have rapid reproduction. Each Asdfanian usually has 2,000 to 3,000 children, but the population of the country right now is approximately 30,000 people. In Asdfany everything is edible. The trees are made of macaroni, the grass is made of fried chicken, the clouds are made of mashed potatoes, and the dirt was made of chocolate cake. This is very similar to Candy Land, but the Asdfanians do not like to be compared to candy land because the inhabitants of this land are their mortal enemies. Back in the year 45 B.C. King Wedgie of Asdfany was having dinner with King Cavity of Candy Land. Everything was going well until the King Cavity sneezed on a slice of bread. The Asdfanians are strongly against sneezing on bread because it is against their religion. So, King Wedgie became outraged and banned King Cavity from Asdfany. Ever since then…