Malakai Scott Mr. Zwyer English 11 3/5/24 The Legend of Biggus Berthacus The tale of Biggus Berthacus is a wild one. It’s quite the tale of the West. And one so destructive that the Grand Canyon would probably collapse if it was ever repeated. In fact, the Grand Canyon was caused by Biggus Berthacus himself. Now, on to the tale! Biggus Berthacus was a normal fellow for some time. He lived in the west and his name was Bill Harold. Just an average joe, indeed. Until one day, everything changed. You see, Bill fell for a woman with such pretty eyes and nice long hair. One day, he tried to get her to marry him using all sorts of romance and talk. She rejected him, and he grew into a great depression. He locked himself away inside his house, eating…show more content… He was fatter than an elephant. Some would say he could probably fit a whole cow in his mouth, he was that big. And when he walked, the ground went BOOM, BOOM, BOOM! It was like a mini earthquake when he was around. People started to call him Big Bertha. Bill was so upset that he would eat more and more. And when he was feasting on a Tuesday afternoon, a man walked up to him, slapped him on the heinie, and went “Moo cow, MOOOOOOO!” Bill’s face became redder than a tomato and then some. He picked the man up, and tossed him in the air, and the man was never seen again. From that point on, whenever he got angry, he started throwing and eating whatever made him angry. Bill grew bigger and bigger, and by the time his body reached the max capacity, he was as tall as a mountain. Some compared him to the scourge of the world, the God of Diabetus. And they named him accordingly. Bill was now known as Biggus Berthacus, son of the God of Diabetus, and widely known as Olympus. Biggus Berthacus ate and ate, the entirety of California was becoming more and more empty. So people searched for a hero. One that was fearless enough to face the
