Self Deception

Submitted By sasamreen
Words: 1690
Pages: 7

Leadership and Self-Deception / Self-Betrayal

What are we talking about / SO WHAT? Self-deception actually determines one’s experience in every aspect of life. (vii)
[S]elf-deception has many different symptoms…Organizations die, or are severely crippled, by those symptoms (111).


What we’ve discovered in the years since is that almost everyone at work betrays himself or herself in this same foundational way. So everything we do here is designed to help our people avoid that self-betrayal and stay out of the box. Our success in that endeavor has been the key to our success in the marketplace... So what is it? To achieve results together. (149) (111b)
To Achieve Results Together
  Covey’s “Win-Win” Porter’s “fit” Oshry’s Partnership Wilber’s “Disaster of Modernity E Pluribus Unum Axial Age (compassion, GR)
“we must either love each other or we will die”
Our experience in teaching about self-deception and its solution is that people find this knowledge liberating. It sharpens vision, reduces feelings of conflict, enlivens the desire for teamwork, redoubles accountability, magnifies the desire for teamwork, redoubles accountability, magnifies the capacity to achieve results, and deepens satisfaction and happiness. (viii)

So your success as a leader…depends on being free of self-betrayal. Only then do you invite others to be free of self-betrayal themselves. Only then are you creating leaders yourself – coworkers whom people will respond to, trust, and want to work with. (154b)


And when we’re out of the box and seeing others as people, we have a very basic sense about others—namely, that like me, they too have hopes, needs, cares, and fears. (64)

If you want to know the secret of Zagrum’s success, it’s that we’ve developed a culture where people are simply invited to see others as people [not objects, resources, etc.]

But notice – everyone else has duplicated all that stuff, but they’ve yet to duplicate our results. And that’s because they don’t know how much smarter smart people are, how much more skilled skilled people get, and how much harder hardworking people work when they see, and are seen, straightforwardly – as people. (39-40)

Outside the box = higher levels of awareness = The Golden Rule

Others can tell:

As we’ve been talking about, no matter what we’re doing on the outside, people respond primarily to how we’re feeling about them on the inside. And how we’re feeling about them depends on whether we’re in or out of the box concerning them. (31

And if you do what might on the surface be considered the right thing, but do it while in the box, you’ll invite an entirely different and less-productive response than you would if you were out of the box. For remember, people respond not primarily to what you do but to how you’re being – whether you’re in or out of the box toward them.

Beyond Behaviorism:

“Is the distinction we’re talking about fundamentally a distinction in behavior, or is it deeper than that?” “ It’s deeper,” I said. (46)

No matter what skill you teach me, I can be either in the box or out of the box when I implement it. (133)

One of the reasons you may be struggling to understand how you got out of the box is that you’re trying to identify a behavior that got you out. But since the box itself is deeper than behavior, the way out of the box has to be deeper than behavior too. Almost any behavior can be done either in the box or out of the box, so no mere behavior can get you out. You’re looking in the wrong place.

In other words, there’s a fundamental problem with the question “What do I need to do to get out of the box. The problem is that anything I tell you to do can be done either in or out of the box. (138) YES, BUT...
Doesn’t the GR = more work, more obligations?
Being out of the box and seeing others as people doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly bombarded with burdensome