Comp II MWF 10am
Till Death Do Us Part
“I…..take you….. to be my wife (or husband). To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, and here to I pledge you my faithfulness.” (Bible.org)
Why do almost half of the people who say these vows end up in divorce? Since as early as 1860, the United States Census Bureau has shown that divorce was happening, even before then were divorces granted. Divorce has always been around, but in the last fifty years the divorce rate has shot through the roof. Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. Healthy marriages are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. Divorce is so common in the United States that 40 to 50% of marriages end in divorce and the rate for subsequent marriage is even higher at 67%; most people have been impacted by divorce at some point in their lifetime and may not have even realized the effects of divorce (American Psychological).
There are some known reasons that put people at higher risk for divorce: marrying at an early age, income or finances, education, living together before marriage, a premarital pregnancy, no religious affiliation, coming from a divorced family, and feelings of insecurity. The most common reasons people have given for divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying to young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage and abuse. Some of these can be fixed and divorce can be prevented (Divorce). However, some choose the “easy” way out and to go forward with a divorce.
There are many different causes that lead to divorce. In fact, there are so many causes that they are too numerous to list, but there are common causes that some people face more often. At some point, most people have financial hardships in their life. In married couples, a poll response was that they admitted to arguing over money at least once; while only 34% of couples cited that money was their major problem. When entering into marriage people do not realize that they are entering into a partnership. While no partnership is ever 50/50, people tend to be selfish beings and cannot comprehend why their spouse gets more, whether it be to spend money, having the ability to enjoy their hobbies more than the spouse, or even making more money, all are examples that may cause the spouses’ animosity.
Alcohol or substance abuse was a frequently mentioned problem, but data was inconclusive because most spouses were unsure if other problems that occurred would fix themselves if the abuse of the alcohol or other substances did not exist. Addiction has negative consequences for individuals, whether it is the abuser or victim. Estimates of the total overall costs of substance abuse in the United States, including productivity, health and crime related costs, exceeds $600 billion annually. This includes approximately $193 billion for illicit drugs, $193 billion for tobacco, and $235 billion for alcohol (National Institute). As staggering as these numbers are they do not fully describe the destruction from these substances, like family disintegration, loss of employment, failure in school, domestic violence and child abuse.
Sexual problems had a notable amount of cases and pointed at sex to be the single largest problem in a marriage. Since physical sexual problems are considered rare, most of the tension in the bedroom stemmed from improper attitudes about sexual relations, and most reported the range of sexual problems from prudence to infidelity. Sex has a huge impact on humans, so a married couple should communicate and express boundaries. Many people can even use sex as a way to express their love