Deborah Tannen Sex Lies And Conversation Summary

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"Sex, Lies and Conversations," by Deborah Tannen, describes reasons on how men and women communicate differently. Finding out the differences of communications between men and women is important because communicating and understanding one another in relationships is the key to a good marriage. Communication problems that endanger marriage can’t be fixed by mechanical engineering, they require work and effort. Understanding one another is the first step in good communication.
When we are out with our partner, we tend to have different habits than the ones we would have at home. Men are the ones to take charge and talk more when they are out, unlike women who feel the most comfortable at home. For example, Tannen writes," When men are at home, they have nothing to prove and no one to defend against, he is free to remain silent" (412). Women, on the other hand, like to remain silent when in public, because they don’t want to say the wrong thing or something that can hurt or offend anyone. If you think about when women and men are in a restaurant, the men are always the ones to take charge and order for both, showing us how women are afraid of saying the wrong thing and
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Men listen to other men and never make eye contact, however, when they seek advice the other male friend usually dismisses the problem. It is proven that girls like to feel compassion from the same sex partner that they are talking to unlike guys that like to know that what they are worried about is no big deal. For example, Tannen writes, "Women perceive such responses as belittling and unsupportive. But the boys seemed satisfied with them” (411). If a women is talking to a men about her problems and the men dismisses the problem the women is more likely to get mad because she doesn’t know that that’s what men do, they dismiss the problem or make you feel like you're over