Divorce, Children Essay

Submitted By Hudjudy
Words: 1846
Pages: 8

Children are affected by diverse factors, after their parents divorce. These factors can either have a positive or negative impact on children. Such factors include custody arrangements, interaction with mothers and fathers, conflicts between parents, stepparents; additionally, the characteristics of the child may change.
Primarily, after divorce, shared residential custody or parallel parenting has a positive long-term impact on the children. Such custody guarantees an equal quantity of time with both parents. Confident and educated parents with young children are more likely to adopt shared parenting because each parent wants their children to attach to them. Also, this parenting plan works without complete cooperation of both parents because it is not necessary to provide identical environments in households. Parallel parenting limits the communication between parents; hence, fewer conflicts will appear. Or parents can use email to communicate with each other instead of verbal contact. In this case, they can both engage in the decision-making process for their children because two people can make more comprehensive and better decisions. More importantly, fathers and mothers have different roles in a child’s life. Fathers are better at leading children to prepare for the future “real and complex world”, while mothers usually calm and nurture. It is vital that children have both of their parents when growing up; therefore, most of the time shared parenting is a better choice for divorced families. However, it is restricted and hard to achieve shared parenting if two parents live far away from each other and re-partner (Clarke-Stewart & Brentano, 2006; Lamb, 2012; Nielsen, 2013; Pruett et al., 2012).
Moreover, the quality of mother parenting has much influence on children after divorce, since many children stay with their mothers more than their fathers. Some adults may feel unsatisfied with their current lives. After divorce they may go searching for new lives and tend to overlook their children who are struggling to adjust to their new family structure. Suddenly, mother’s life will be very tough and stressful because mothers need to take care of children and work harder to earn more money. In order to reduce the problems caused by children, especially younger children, mothers may use an authoritarian parenting style that is less loving and too strict. Additionally, mothers’ adjustment and parenting style may potentially influence adolescent girls’ romantic competence. Those girls have relatively less stable relationships and they are more likely to escape rather than confront when they encounter conflicts with their partners (Shulman, Zlotnik, Shachar-Shapira, Connolly, & Bohr, 2012). Moreover, some mothers might not adjust well after divorcing. Often mothers may enmesh with their daughters when they feel insecure. Some mothers may have even closer and more intimate discussions with their children - usually daughters - about problems with the child’s father. Gradually, children would then have a bad impression of their fathers. Simultaneously, children may take on the role of the father to take care of their mother and even the family. Most children with such burdens do not adjust very well after divorce. (Shulman et al., 2012; Clarke-Stewart & Brentano, 2006; Harvey & Fine, 2010; Lamb, 2012; Nielsen, 2012).
Similarly, the relationship between the father and child is necessary for a smooth adjustment. After divorce, the majority of children stay with their mothers, who may view their husbands as a sign of danger to their children. Hence, fathers are hard to see their children because of mothers’ gatekeeping. However, it is important for children to spend more time with their fathers. When children stay overnight in their fathers’ house, it is very helpful to build relationships. In fact, 31% of children who have one overnight stay per week and 44% of children who have more than one overnight stay demonstrate superior…