Documentary Analysis: Love And Marriage

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I. Describe the Couple: Stephanie and Joe were high-school sweethearts who are now living in Ohio with their four young children. Both work outside the home: Joe is a social worker and Stephanie is an accountant. With two careers and four kids, their lives are hectic and they have minimal time to dedicate solely to each other. They are described as a great combination of “a perfectionist and a peacemaker.” In the context of the documentary, the interviewer sees them as a perfect example of the All-American family. Through watching interviews and recordings presented in the documentary Love and Marriage, it is possible to point out some factors within their relationship that contribute to its maintenance, and others that lead to discord.
II. Identify a factor that contributes (or contributed) to the formation or
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After conducting a significant amount of research on the topic of conflict within couples, Gottman introduced four qualities of negative interactions that he called the Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse. These four communication behaviors- contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and withdrawal- create a very negative environment. Throughout the documentary, there were multiple instances where Stephanie criticized Joe’s lack of involvement, with comments such as “if you keep sitting down we’re going to have a problem” and “he appears to be helping, but... he falls a little short sometimes.” She frequently criticizes his behaviors, but her critiques are usually vague, rather than direct and clear, which would produce better results. While conflict is inevitable within a partnership, the way she expresses her frustrations does not help to rectify the situation. Stephanie exhibits a lot of criticism and even some contempt, even though Joe feels like he helps out a fair amount, and does not like being constantly