The Importance Of Paining About The Loss Of My Son

Submitted By moosemanmason
Words: 964
Pages: 4

it kinda breaks my heart when people judge me for caring about the loss of my son. I talk about it still because it was such an eye opener. And an amazing one at that. I got pregnant at a very young age, I feel for all the young moms out there because it made me realize age is just a number. Doesn't matter how old you are, it matters if you can be a strong enough person in the end. I found out about my baby boy July 20th 2013. I had a pretty bad drug problem at that time so I had no idea what to do next. I was young, stupid and did a lot of the same things a young teenage girl would do. At the time of me finding out about Isaiah, Adam was at work, and I secretly went to the doctors alone. I remember the doctor coming into the room and telling me.... my test came up positive. I don't know how to describe the feeling I had in my heart when I heard that come out of his mouth. People say it's not something to cry about.... well I balled my eyes out. Were they tears of happiness? Confusion? Sadness? Still to this day... I really do not know. By the end of the doctors appointment, we had everything set up, papers set up for an ultra sound, found out I was briefly 8-11 weeks, gave me all my information id need and such.. After I left the doctors, i remember walking home, and getting this feeling in my heart, it was the craziest feeling I've ever felt. I finally had to think for not only myself and Adam, but what's inside of me as well? That was just the start of something that could have been amazing. I remember walking through the door of my mothers house, walking up the first set of stairs, looking to find her.... Wasn't there. So I walked up the second set and found her. She asked me where I had gone. At the time, like I was saying, I wasn't doing so well, I was dropped out, drug addiction, and apparently pregnant as well. So I decided to tell her what had happened. She was so mad, that she told me if I was not to get an abortion, I would have to move out with Adam and stay away from her home. It wasn't just due to the fact I was pregnant, it was everything, my age, my addiction, me and Adam didn't have a stable relationship either, we both were working the same job busting our asses off making 10.25 in the hot boiling sun every day. From that moment on..... I had to work for myself. I didn't even speak to adam yet at that time. He was still at work... What was he going to say when he got home? That whole day after my mother said that, I cried of confusion, I never wanted to lose my mom, she's my bestfriend. And she still is. I remember waiting until 4:30 and then walking down the trail to meet Adam at the bus stop after work in my comfy clothes and slippers, as he thought I was sick and that's why I didn't go to work. But clearly, that wasn't the reason. He asked me how my day was, and I explained to him everything that was happening. I remember he dropped all his stuff right away and gave me the biggest hug I've ever gotten before and told me, we're gonna do it, me and him. So from that moment on, me and Adam busted our asses off working on the hot sun, making terrible money for such hard work, eventually we moved out, stayed clean together, I wouldn't