5 March 2015
After reviewing the memorandum, sent by Mr. McCauley, I was baffled. The acronym, “HR”, in the memorandum heading, was not clarified. After reading the second paragraph, it was assumed that it meant “Human Resources”. The acronym, “COO”, was also not explained, for I could only assume that it meant “Chief Operations Officer”, and was not referring to Mr. McCauley’s state of sanity.
In the message body, though the memorandum is responding to the Service Request RM004, the service request, even if briefly, was not explained. The disparate tools used were not explained in how they were different, nor did it reveal who used them. The second paragraph, beginning with, “I look forward to moving…,” should have been the last paragraph in concluding the memorandum. The jargon “state-of-the-art” would not be a proper description, in a professional memorandum, of the technology being integrated. A good replacement word, for that phrase, would have been, “advanced”.
In the third paragraph of the memorandum body, the tone appears demanding and, within the first sentence, threatening. Though a project plan may be a requirement, it could have been stated in a different format. I would have written the following: “In order for the funding of the integration project can be allocated, a detailed written report will be required containing the following: a list of all the tasks, resources, schedule, and budget…