Essay On Dimmmu Burger

Submitted By nickh46
Words: 2457
Pages: 10

Dimmu Burger is a privately owned take-out burger joint in the Southern California region, created by a band of five heavy metal rockers that hail from the freezing shores of Olso, Norway. A take from the word “Dimmuborgir”, which translates to “dark castles” in Old Norse, Dimmu Burger prides itself in its dark, gothic, death metal theme, and its literally fresh from the cow, bloody rare hamburgers. While not achieving the same national market share compared to places such as MacDonalds, Wendys, and Burger King, Dimmu Burger has gotten a loyal share of crowds, mostly from hard rockers, goths, and organized cultists around the Sunset Strip in Hollywood. There is only one Dimmu Burger in Los Angeles, and it is the size of a small factory. The lines around Dimmu Burger are packed with loyal and zealous customers, and stretches around for literally blocks.
The means by which Dimmu Burger processes the meat comes not from packaged delivered ground meat, but from live cows, supplied via a vendor in Texas who overnights them via airplane. Great care is taken to ensure that the cows are healthy and free of disease. Dimmu Burger believes that, for the highest quality and most “brutal” hamburger, the cow must die in the most violent matter, and that the hamburgers should come from all parts of the cow, such as brisket, tenderloin, sirloin and ribeye. This gives Dimmu Burger significant differential advantage against other hamburger joints that base their hamburger meat solely on ground chuck (and thus, just order the cheapest ground beef). When they arrive, the cows are then taken to a small processing plant, in which they are literally “sacrificed” by executioners wearing dark hoods and wielding giant axes. The cows have an average weight of 750 lbs, of which an average of 1/3 of its live weight is allocated towards hamburger meat. Dimmu Burger’s hamburger sizes use only single half-pound (or 8 oz) hamburger patties, there are no options for double-patties nor any fluctuations in size. Each cow will contribute an average of 500 hamburgers.
Dimmu Burger is open from Monday to Saturday (6 days) from 10AM to 1AM (a 15 hour day), for a total of a 90 hour work week. Processing cows and cooking burgers run throughout the day, and in one hour, the team of executioners can process (which means conducting a sacrificial ritual, beheading the cow by axe, manually stripping the meat from the bone, then chopping the meat to itty bitty pieces while reciting ancient Druid chants, then form the meat into patties) an average of 1 cow. During that same hour, the cooks will use up all the meat allocated from the cows to make the hamburgers, with none left over. The patties were cooked in a large scale cast iron griddle set on maximum heat to enable a seared crust, for a total of 2 minutes per side (bloody rare) for a total of 4 minutes. In addition, Dimmu Burger patties are taken literally from the cow (who has an average temperature of 101.5 degrees Fahrenheit) and they are not refrigerated, so it takes less time to cook then chilled patties from a refrigerator. Each burger needs a 25 square inch grid (5x5in) of space when cooking. Dimmu Burger keeps a minimum of 2 cast iron 40 x 200 in (8,000 sq in) griddles cooking at anytime, with 2 more on standby in case demand picks up. Normal capacity per cooking cycle is 320 burgers per griddle, with a maximum capacity of 1280 burgers per cooking cycle.
During cooking, the patties are seasoned with sea salt and cracked black pepper. The cooking staff are highly efficient to ensure that there is always a constant set of burger patties on the grill, that adhering to the 4 minute cooking cycle means up to 15 cooking cycles can occur in the hour, and that there is no time lost between cycles. The hamburger patty is mated with a bun that was provided as part of a deal with a local bakery; as part of its “brutal” marketing slogan, Dimmu Burgers are served plain and have no vegetables, condiments, or cheese.