Essay On Spoon Theory

Words: 648
Pages: 3

Like most people. I hide a lot of things. Putting my best face forward is something I like to heavily focus on. My impression and reputation mean a lot to me. Because of this, it seems like I almost wear a mask.

I have depression. Most people have heard of it but not many truly understand what is really is and how it can drastically change someone’s life and how they feel about themselves and others. Depression is much more than being sad. Along with these feelings of sadness, are feelings of worthlessness, hollowness, unexplained anger, and perpetual loneliness. I cry a lot, for what seems like absolutely no reason.

Last fall and winter were a struggle for me. One of my favorite times of the year seemed to have become absolutely
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This illness feels like a constant tug of war between extremes. Something minuscule to something major can trigger it. It’s one big guessing game that no one really wants to play or a landmine that could go off any second.

My mom, who also struggles with a chronic illness, showed me something we can both relate to called “Spoon Theory.” The idea is that the person with the illness, also cleverly called a Spoonie, has a certain amount of spoons to “spend” a day. Certain daily activities can take different amounts of spoons. These activities can range from brushing your teeth, getting out of bed, eating, to working out. When someone runs out of their daily spoons, they ultimately have no other choice but to rest until their spoons are replenished. Unless you're me.

I’m the Spoonie that overworks herself to the point where it seems like I’m using upwards of three days of energy in one. This means I’m always behind. I’m irritable, grumpy, angry and absolutely exhausted. I try not to use this as an excuse for not doing things, but sometimes I just can’t help it. There are some points when I absolutely have to replenish my spoons and having people in my life who understand that, can really