Coming Back to School Going to school to learn new knowledge to have more opportunities in improving myself with a good career was my dream that I didn’t have enough strength of the spirit as well as the condition of finance to do it. But I made a big decision to implement my dream to come back to school, left behind a lot of worry things and being strong spirit person to go on my way after the day I had decided to divorce. There were still many things need to be listed and many things need to be planned to do for coming back school, it seemed that nothing is the barrier thing on my way and seemed that this was the best solution for me in my present condition. The notion of going back to school appeared when I just got married in 2006. I delivered my first baby in 2007 and had the second baby in 2008. On that year I was 24 years old with two little kids, one boy and one girl was not easy to do anything. The responsibility of being a good mom to spend almost my time on them and make sure they are safe as well as receiving the good caring made me so tired to think of anything else. So, I gave up my dream to go to school.
Our life turned into a new page from the time we get a new house. We decided to buy a new house in 2008 after my ex husband gave me his condition that except buying a new house, he would move out of his family house with me, if renting in an apartment like I said, he would not. Unfortunately, one year later my ex-husband’s plant was closed out by moving their business from Lincoln Nebraska to Wisconsin State. In lucky I got a new full time job in Molex Incorporated like Assembly Operator when he lost his job in Parker Hannifin like a machinist.
The difficult things in our life continued on this period of time. I worked very hard to cover almost the expenses of our life at the time that he couldn’t find a good job because the United State economy was getting down for the business. And the next of those days was the time that was called the nightmare period of mine when the stresses of losing job put on him. The drama of my family began when he didn’t know how to control his bad-temper on the children and on me.
The dramas were going on in our lives everyday. I still remember I went home after twelve hours working everyday and heard the crying sounds of my little kids when he continued shouting on them with the worst words that I never thought I could hear them from anyone like a Dad talking with his children. Then he hit them front of me without any the bad reasons that they made mistakes. Firstly, I tried to explain to him to not do that and tell him that my little kids are just the kids. They needed to be explained their wrong things which they did and talking to them are the only way to teach them.
I found the way to leave behind everything when I tried to explain and give advices to him, but there was nothing changed. Then I ignored what things he did by driving my car to the Temple each day after work to pray for him and for our family a peace life. I did that because I didn’t want to see him hit or shout on my kids. That was a very uncomfortable feeling that anyone who being a mom can be suffered. I used to go straight to my own bed with my kids at night without talking anything to him to avoid to hear what things he told to me the stories how did he hit my kids on that day or what terrible things he said to them.
Then, I found the peacefulness in religion in my belief of Buddha who was only one I can talk to him and pray everyday. At the same time, I tried to encourage him to find a new job on the newspapers, and tell him to pray to Buddha like me and reminded him to read the praying words everyday by writing a piece of paper and paste it on the wall in the living room. He got much better with his behavior in treating well with my kids from that time. This period of time lasted for over 4 months for a change from him with my scariness by…