I never knew I’d be where I am today in life. Over the last three years my life was going down hill. I use to be an outrage teen with no morals or standards for myself. I didn’t know where my life was heading. Once I knew I was going to have another child I knew I had to make some changes. It was a hard process but I’m the person I am today because of my children.
Even though I had one daughter already I still didn’t have my life together the way that it should’ve been. I had no job, I had dropped out of cosmetology school, moved to Pittsburgh with my sister and just didn’t know where I was heading. I just thought life was this little game even though I knew my play time was over since I have a child of my own.
After a month of living with my sister in Pittsburgh, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. The day I found out I was in disbelief I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was in denial for a couple months and then I came to realization that I was about to have another living child enter this world. I had giving up on everything that I had good going for myself. I had nothing. I didn’t know what to do. I knew something had to change. One day I was sitting in the park with my daughter and just looking at all these other teen moms who seemed like they were in the same situation as me but a little older. I start thinking to myself that I knew I didn’t want to be like them in a couple years I had to get myself together, not only for my daughter but for myself. It was going to be a hard process because I was out in the world on my own since I had moved away from my mom and my sister was just as messed as I was. Over the next couple days I kept thinking about how I was going to get myself back to the old April that everyone loved and seen potential in. I knew I couldn’t do this on my own so I had to move closer to my mom again.
Around the end of the summer of 2012, I moved back to Johnstown next door to my mom. One day we were sitting on the couch watching television and she had asked me “what I was going to do with another child”. I was thinking in my head like I don’t know but I knew I couldn’t say that to her. So I told her “that I was going to get back in school and strive for my dreams”. I decided that I’d start small and enter a community college before I went to a university to get the feel of the college life. I also went looking for a job. I liked having my own money and not having to depend on people. Within a week I was enrolled in my first official college classes and I had a full time job.
During the fall 2012 semester I was now 3 months pregnant and was feeling really sick so I hardly ever went to class or work. I knew I wasn’t going to make it through my first semester and keep my job by the way my attendance was. Of course I was right I barely made it through my first semester I even dropped a class and had to repeat two other classes. I even quit my job because I was being lazy. I just knew things weren’t looking up for me, I knew I was heading down the wrong rode again. Everyone was talking about how bad I was doing and that if I wanted a better life for my children I was going to have to do better.