Gay and Lesbian's Adopting Essay

Submitted By bm5522
Words: 1751
Pages: 8

Brittany Murray
ENG 1520
Dr. James
2 August 2015
End Discrimination Now
The recent legislation allowing same-sex couples to marry in all 50 states has sparked much controversy. Some people see marriage as a union between a man and a woman only, so they become confused, and even angered when a man and a man, or a woman and a woman, demand they get the same rights. This belief is further complicated when the gay and lesbian couple decides they want to start a family. People on both sides of this debate feel very strongly about their beliefs.
Over time, more and more people are accepting the decision of gay and lesbian marriage and their right to a child. As the essay "A Right For Gay Couples To Adopt” states, “Yet, despite the changing perception of partnership, the issue of same-sex adoption significantly lags [behind, ultimately] jeopardizing the rights of a homosexual couple to create a family” (“A Right”). A survey taken of 1,010 people concluded that 56% percent of the participants opposed gay adoption (“Gay Discrimination”). This percentage shows that more people do not believe that gay and lesbian couples should adopt children.
The goal for every orphanage is to give a child a mother and father. An author named Gilles Bernheim wrote, “The adopted child needs a father and mother even more than other children. At the deepest level, viscerally, he desires to find a place close to the basic cell that gave him life: a father and mother”. In other words, Bernheim is saying that an adopted child is lost and confused and the best way to help this is to give them the most normal life possible. Supporters of the view that anyone can raise a child would argue that all a child needs is love. People like Bernheim, who believe there is more to raising a child than just love would argue. Bernheim states, “To love a child is one thing; to love a child that provides the necessary structure is another… the role of parents extends beyond the love they feel for their children”. There are many challenges same-sex parents face that make it harder to secure a good foundation for their adopted child. As Maxwell, Edward, and Kelsey write, the “The challenges faced by LGBT parents and their children include a lack of equitable access to healthcare, income and affirming communities”.
Being adopted by same-sex parents is further complicated in Bernheim’s writing when he factors in how common it is for an adopted child to reject one of the two sexes. Bernheim states, “It is therefore important that the child be able to identify with two parents of different sexes: with his mother, because he needs to be reconciled with the woman; and with his father, in order to know the presence of a man”. Having a woman and a man in the house can be very beneficial to a child who has had neither a mother nor a father before.
All children are susceptible to bullying. When children do not understand the different situations others are in, they may make fun of them. Another reason children raised by gay or lesbians parents is difficult is because these children can be especially ridiculed for the way they are being raised. Children born to LGBT parents through surrogacy or insemination often feel the way they are raised is completely normal and there is nothing to be ashamed of. In adoption cases, the children may feel anger and hostility towards their adopted parents if they are bullied. These children may not have a strong enough foundation yet to feel okay with the way they are being raised. This can be detrimental to their growth and may cause even more pain and anger within the already pained children.
As Maxwell, Edward, and Kelsey claim in their article, approximately 115,000 children in the United States are eligible to be adopted. They also claim that, “nearly half of all gay men and lesbians would like to be parents”. These people wanting to adopt could give a whole new life to the children who would be raised in an orphanage. While some people