From January, 1991, the day I was born, I have been given a status, class, and expectation from both my family and the society. A status that was obtains involuntarily at birth, as a son of a Cambodian’s governor, and the only male in family after my dad. It was determined that my sex, the biological distinction between male and female, was male. From that moment, my parents used my gender, personal traits of the society to determined how they going to raise me. Expectation and demand for perfection is pressured upon me because my parents are Cambodian Chinese, where the Chinese culture looks up to the son of the family as a family heritage, and continuity of the family
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After high school, my parents decided to send me to the United States for College. For me, higher education is expected from my family. For my sister, she has an option of staying behind or goes abroad to study. I have to maintain many statues that helped shape my future. I have always had many statues at one time. As a student, I have to maintain good grades and aimed to enter one of the top Universities in California. I have to represent my family name, and this mean not doing drugs or even getting a tattoo. I really want to get a tattoo because I want something that represents me. According to Milliann Kang, tattoo for college students is a stage when young people are seeking to assert their independence and way to ground of self in a seemingly changing and insecure world (p.42, 2007). I have to agree with Kang because through the course of life, I break so many rules that the society set, and many family rules as well. I loved breaking rules because it gives me the sense of independency and that I am a man, not a woman. Breaking rules is very masculine, and I don’t want to be called mama’s boy if I always listen to my mother.
Today, I am 21 years old. I went through many stages of life. The best part is being spoiled as a kid, and knowing that I have a lot of privilege in the family makes me even more masculine. However, I pity my sister the fact that sometimes, my family doesn’t treat her the same way as me. Expectation is always in me, and I will keep these