The harsh buzzing marks the start of another day. Your breath is visible, its opaque white quality clashing against the dirty brown walls. The bed groans with you as you sit up, rubbing the little sleep that you got from your eyes. A uniformed man comes and escorts you and the other three in your room to the mess hall. Breakfast is the same as always- cold eggs, sour orange juice, and oatmeal that is just a little too lumpy. Looking around, you can see the other hundred or so boys in the camp, all looking just as tired and depressed as you. It’s only your fifth day at the conversion camp, and already you feel as if you aged a few years. Mindlessly mumbling the morning prayer, you notice one of the priests approaching your table. “Amen…” Your heart skips a beat as you feel a hand on your shoulder; it is as you have feared. After another mediocre meal, you follow the priest out of the mess hall; your roommate’s scared eyes following you, knowing what is to come. You sit heavily into the well-worn leather chair, the camp’s head priest’s cold eyes staring at you. You’ve been ratted out. You thought that yesterday, when you asked another camp member out on a date you were alone. Guess not. Your list of punishments was read aloud- all designed to scare you, to break you. This is who you are, and what right do they, your family, have to try and change it? “And today, you have solitary.” Your heart stops dead. A whole day of isolation, with nothing but a book you are forced to read about the sins of homosexuality. It’s not like you can pretend either, they quiz you, and every time it’s different. “Is there anything you want before you go my son?” you hear him mumble out. “Yes father,” tears start to run down your face, “I just want to go home.”
Those that are raised from birth being taught that religion is an absolute right, and cannot be questioned in any way will seek answers and morals from their religion, as opposed to themselves. Naturally, fathers want the best for their family, and would spread the “correct” religious ideal to them, so that may look good in the eyes of their beliefs, and so they may pass them down as well. Those in the family however, who do not fall into their ideals, or get discriminated against by those ideals cause them to develop self-loathing, and emotionally drift away from the family. The father, concerned about his child would confront them about their behavior, wanting him to be happy, and wanting to help. However, when the child’s “blasphemy” is revealed the father would see it as something that need to be “fixed,” and not a belief, or characteristic of their child. The nature of the programs and methods used to fix the child are abusive, meant to force the child to conform to the proper criteria, and the father would force his child to attend them in order to “save themselves” from whatever negative repercussions the religion might bestow on them. The abuse and lack of understand and acceptance creates loathing for their father, and his religion; the child would leave to escape the abuse, and cut all ties with their father and family to escape any more mistreatment from them.
Those raised from birth learning that religion is an absolute right will seek answers from their religion instead of themselves, for who can possibly be more correct than God? The morals and ideals that normally develop individually as they grow get suppressed and replaced by those that the religion teaches. Now in most cases, this would not be a bad development, however within many religions there are some that are toxic that get forced upon those that follow. Some preach ignorance and intolerance, and these “ideals” seep into the followers, and many would find themselves with those beliefs too, subconsciously preaching such hate themselves to those around them. Take for example Paul, who was raised as a devote Christian. Paul is a father of one, and was raised to believe that homosexuality is a sin, and those who practiced
