Much like any other student, I do not believe that the numbers (change numbers to something else, synonym for grades) I have received fully demonstrate the potential that I have. I had only started taking an interest in my future towards the beginning of my junior year (change this…they don’t want to hear that all of the sudden you realized you cared and then started trying once it was too late. Maybe go into detail about how you were confused as to what you wanted to do with your future and thus didn’t have a direction in which to base your efforts..I like how you talk about finally reaching an appreciation of your education. Maybe talk about how you reached this appreciation-not just by finally realizing oh crap high school matters in terms of college, but more of an inspiring thing- like I know for me, I value my education in part because I know that there are many young women my age in the world that are not even allowed to attend school). Unfortunately, this is a lot later than ideally wanted, but it was then, that I put my all into my education. My grades the previous year were less than acceptable. In elementary and middle school, being above average was second nature to me. This overconfidence caused me to take my education for granted as seen in my earlier years of high school. I had quite a difficult time adjusting from a relatively easy course load in middle school, to a particularly difficult one in my sophomore year of high school. Unable to cope, I performed poorly (They don’t want students who are unable to cope, they want students who are able to adapt. Maybe talk about ability to adapt that you have developed over the past year or so, especially because this will be apparent in your grades if they have improved over the last year). But the fact is that I learned from my mistakes. I improved majorly. My grades skyrocketed compared to those of my previous year, and I believe those are the grades that should be taken in account when lookingat my application GOOD! –Expand… why do you think this? Have you changed as a person/student and how so. That is the type of person I want to be academically and socially, and that is the person I will continue to strive to be Yay!!! I like this! Just one thing-explicitly state what that kind of person is (i.e. elaborate on the specific characteristic(s) such as motivated, highly achieving, etc.) . My grades this year only further prove that. My test scores on the other hand are a valid representation as to how I take tests-change “as to how I take tests” to something like a valid representation of my strengths (and mention what strengths these are-good time management? Something else?). I am a good test taker. I always have been. Tests don't shut me down, but instead they reawaken my senses so that I'm more in tune with the situation and the questions being asked. When the time came for those dreaded standardized tests, I had found my footing in the educational world, and I knew my potential and I knew I had the ability to fulfill that potential nice!. Although my goal was higher than what I had achieved maybe change to I know that I can challenge myself further and achieve at an even higher level now that I realize my potential is high and I have the work ethic to make the best of my potential (Instead of saying like, meh I could’ve done better but I still did well) , my hard work had payed off. I was proud of getting myself out of the hole I had dug too negative- say something more along the lines of just you were proud of your improvementduring the previous years.
Overall don’t harp on the negative! Recognize at the beginning that you did not reach your full potential during the first few years of high school but the key word is only RECOGNIZE it! Then talk about how awesome you are girl! And how even though you acknowledge your mistakes of the