1. At the age of kids, I believed that most people had the interest to display their new toys, or show off the family vacation; after we grow up, we might not repeat doing such childish things, however, some behaviours were still essentially the same, like posing the good looking selfie on the instragram or writing an impressed experience that could show the solid relationship with your good friends on facebook. We all like to share the stuff or the experiences that make us be proud of, in order to get the admission and even the approval from others which help us to build up a sense of presence in the group and be accepted.
2. In fact, the most frustrated thing is not being rejected by groups, but being neglected by people. Imagine that nobody will notice you presence in the crowd, you feel disassociated with any groups and seems to be abandoned by the society. As a result of disconnecting to some place, people might behave abnormally, even if they are aware of it’s likely to be excluded or do things to please others deliberately. In a South Korean reality show, there was a girl dressed in bikini no matter where to go, she claimed that she did not care about how others see her, the bikini made her feel a sense of security. In another case, a girl had a habit of using eyeliner to draw her eyes as panda’s eyes, she said only this kind of makeup would make her feel at ease in outside. Obviously, these extreme behaviours are unable to be accepted by most people, however, the abnormal acts could bring comfort and security to these two girls and enable them to find own shelters. In the other situation, people behave unusually for attracting attention, for instance, children in single-parent family may have some rebellious actions in order to get attention from their parents, so that they can feel they still belong to the family. The way to get connected to groups by pleasing people deliberately is not rare. In the family of my father’s side, I have two older cousins, who have good relations each other, and we are the only three kids in this family. Every time the family meet, they always have lots of interesting topics to talk about, such as, the latest released pop songs, or an upcoming movie. I admire how much fun they play, but it’s a such hard thing for me to get involved because I know nothing about the fashion at that young age. Then I try to learn the songs on the music chart, look for the news about the movie, so that I can also join into the topic, and play with them as fun as they did. This is an evidence of our need to the belonging place, even if we require sacrificing ourselves to make up others.
3. Suddenly get out of growing environment or the place you used to belong could make you feel a loss of sense of self. I was brought up by my grandparents, and the eight years with them are the happiest time in my life. Every day, I would go to the morning market with my grandmother, have a breakfast outside, and also bring some to home for my grandfather. In the afternoon, my grandma would bring me outside to have a play with the kids of the neighbourhood, and she would have a talk with the retired colleagues. In