You have a lot of interesting information and insight to this topic; however, so far you have given more of an opinion essay on the topic. Please remember, this is a formal research paper, where you need to state claims, then provide scientific research to support your viewpoint (along with citing the sources of the information within your paper). Additionally, the premise of this paper is on Bandura and his theory & Bobo Doll experiment, which you did not mention at all in your paper.
Please read through my comments and suggestions as well as the original instructions that came with your exam to revise your paper appropriately. Also be sure to state that others do not agree with your viewpoint, but then provide additional research to show how they are wrong in their thinking.
Once you have chosen your topic you need to organize your thoughts into manageable sections:
1. Clearly state your topic for the reader. The topic I have chosen to discuss is the role that media violence plays in aggression in children specifically as related to Bandura’s experiments.
2. Depending on the topic you chose, you may find it helpful to provide a brief definition of the main concept behind it. Give a very brief description of Bandura’s experiment.
3. Now is the time you should voice your opinion on this topic – this is your thesis. Do you agree with the major tenets of the theories behind its concepts? If not, what do you disagree with? Is media fully to blame for all the violence in the world or is there some other force accountable? If you believe that is that is fine just make three claims related to this. If you are not sure, think about this - if the media is as much to blame as Bandura would like us to believe wouldn’t every child end up being an axe murderer?
Organize the body of your paper in the following fashion:
II. First claim related to your main thesis (remember you are eventually going to have at least 3 claims) The media is certainly has a presence in our lives and that of our children and no one would be foolish to claim that many television shows, movies, and video games are graphically violent. However, if as Bandura claims children are so impressionable wouldn’t more children be stabbing each other on the playground because they have become so desensitized to violence? OR As more and more children become desensitized to violence and killing, it is no wonder that violence on the playground and school bus has increased. . OR Media does have some effect on the level of violence but it should not be used as an excuse for a flawed personality or someone who has not learned the rules of society as there are many other factors that can lead to violence in a child/adolescent/adult.
A. Statement explaining or adding to the claim
B. Researched support for the statement
1. For this you need to provide at least one (1) direct quotation from one of the articles you have read for this project)
III. Objections (remember you have to going to have at least 3 of these as well) A. You must acknowledge that not everyone will agree with what you are saying B. Refutation. 1. For this you must supply additional research in the form of a quotation that supports your original claim and indicates to those who do not agree with you why they are incorrect in their thinking
You will follow this pattern for the next several paragraphs (making a minimum of three to four claims related to your main topic, providing research that will support that point, acknowledging that not everyone will agree with your claim, and then providing additional research that will indicate why those who believe that way are incorrect).
A. Restatement of topic
B. Restatement of main ideas
Please Note: This outline is only intended to help you organize