Kyle Shordy Eulogy

Words: 498
Pages: 2

So now, dear reader, knowing the world as it exists in 2120, I would like you to see one specific part of it. Let’s go to Pasadena, California, where a young man by the name of Kyle Shordy is finishing up lunch outside a fast food restaurant. Kyle is short, very skinny, with a narrow pointed face, bright green eyes, and brown hair. He is dressed in worn out clothes and talks in the worst way possible, his speech has always been like nails on chalkboard for his English teachers. Kyle is only twenty, and yet so far he has done incredibly little with his life. Astoundingly little, some might say. When he was young a teacher asked him what he wanted to do when he was older, and in response Kyle said, “sleep,” and since that day Kyle hasn’t had a single aspiration. When he was sixteen his parents gave him a car for his birthday, and only five days later he wrecked it. They replaced it, however, with an even more expensive one. It might be of no surprise to you that he also still lives at home.
Kyle does have a job, however, if you consider stealing copper pipe and selling it a job. But he doesn’t
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His friends in high school had already done more things in two years than he would do in the next forty. It wasn’t completely his fault, some children can be raised perfectly and still turn out to be little shits. Perhaps it is in their nature, hidden in some recessive gene sooner or later just hoping that it can be passed off. Don’t give Kyle the joy of knowing that you hate him, pity him, dear reader, for very few besides his parents ever have.
As he finished up his cheap burger and fries, he walked out to his car and opened the trunk. Inside were several tools, saws, screwdrivers, a blowtorch, and things of that nature. He knew that his pockets were empty and he would have to either steal something, or ask his parents for more money, and he hated doing the latter. So as he closed the trunk, he set out on the hunt for something of