Love: Love and Mate Selection Essay

Submitted By gangreen1967
Words: 932
Pages: 4

Love
A description of love, the psychological theories and a few ways I have experienced them.
The philosophy of love by the ancient Greek culture describes four different kinds of love. Agape represents love that is unconditional and selfless, as personified in commitment. Philia represents love which characterizes friendship and personified in intimacy. Eros represents the love as in romance and physical desire and personified as passion. Storage represents the natural affection for things and people. Complete love has an equal proportion of Eros or passion, Philia or intimacy, and Agape or commitment. It helps me realize the entire realm of love as the elements are defined. Sternberg’s triangular theory of love is a simplified way to outline the major parts of love. Intimacy, passion and commitment are the three major segments. Consummate love is when intimacy, commitment and passion are all practiced equally the most complete form of love. Consummate love represents the love that relationship couples strive for.
I will attempt to describe and give examples of social and psychological theories. When it comes to mate selection, a person should want to be with someone who they are compatible with in all aspects. Logically the Evolutionary theory of mate selection is the instinctive attractiveness. We are instinctively attracted to a mate having to do with survival of the species and potential for childbearing and child rearing. I can relate to this theory because as a man finding the eyes, lips, hips and breasts of women very attractive to me. I understand this theory and it is only natural. The psychodynamic theory of mate selection suggests we search for those who most closely fit what we experienced in our early childhood. This is an attempt to get what we feel we needed or missed as we were growing up. People are attracted to the similarities experienced early in life as the love from ones parents was received and now recognized and interpreted as an attractive attribute. The exchange theory of mate selection is based on the exchange of social and material resources and suggests that we select a mate who is more or less our equal. For example I would want to be with someone who likes and enjoys doing the same things, maybe as far as in the same line of work or profession. A balance in this give and take style of relationship would be essential. The equity theory of mate selection is similar to exchange theory, it requires equity and fairness in what people give and receive in the relationship. The stage theory of mate selection describes how we move through distinct stages as we develop. The stimulus stage is where we evaluate people based on physical appearance. The value stage is where we evaluate the values, religion and family of the person. The role stage is where we share our activities to build a working relationship while sharing similar attitudes.
As a teenager I was always attracted to the girls who looked like they were built to procreate, compatibility was usually not taken into consideration. I had a girlfriend with these attributes, of course the relationship ended. Not knowing she was pregnant she moved on to another relationship and got married, I went to trade school in Blue Island, Illinois. The evolutionary theory in action, and my son was created so I was a father with limited visitation. In my early twenties I met a woman who had traits similar to my mother and also felt as…