September 5, 2012
How to be a Successful College Dropout
Have you ever been sitting in class and all of a sudden you notice that one of your friends isn’t there? Now that you begin to think about it, you have not seen them going to any of their classes or around campus the past few weeks, so you go to the only reliable source known to man, Facebook. As you are scrolling down their page you see one their status says, “college dropout”? As you sit there in amazement, you start to wonder how did they dropout without you knowing. In this essay I will project how parties, classes, and enrollment can provide one with the information needed to be a successful college dropout.
The first step to becoming a dropout is to enroll into a college, but not just any college. Make sure it’s a prestigious college. You know, one of those colleges that looks down on people for making 27s on the ACT. Doing this will look good on future resumes when you apply for a job. This also helps when you have to explain to your parents that you decided to take a different path to your million-dollar dream job. Another reason this would be helpful is it gives you bragging rights over your friends that dropped out from those less prestigious schools. Although enrolment is a crucial part to dropping out the hardest part is registering for classes.
When registering for classes you should choose classes that you have little or no interest in being in. This is very important because, you will be less likely to stay focused which will allow you to catch up on precious sleep that you miss out on from doing more important things like playing Halo or Call of Duty until three in the morning. Also registering for these types of classes will make you less likely to get out of bed and attend them. Another thing to remember when attending classes is to make sure you don’t receive a book this way you want be tempted to do any type of homework or engage in any class discussions. Also when attending class sit as far away from the teacher as possible, so that they get none of the attention they plan to receive from you once they begin to instruct. Another thing to take into consideration is once in class do not show any signs of promise, this way the…