Maria S Guide To The Universe Essay example

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Maria’s Guide to the Universe Algebra 1 A branch of math that, according to math expert Mr. Lew, deals w/ renting toothpicks, peanut butter sandwich ratios, and, of course, wouldn’t be complete w/out earwax. Aristocracy If you ever happen to come across an “Emily Camp”, please take my advice and don’t mention this one. Axioms of trash­throwing 1)
Underhand works better than overhand (trust me, I’ve tried)
The formula to find the angle needed to hit a coordinate (x,y) with x = range, v = initial speed, and g = gravity

If you’re Maria, don’t place any bets about making the bin.
The ideal trajectory is a section of a parabola.
There is no limit to epicness, even in trash­throwing. Boredom That woozy feeling you get, and then your neighbor starts looking at you funny, as if you’re about to fall asleep, and you give them a look like you’re totally alert (as if that fooled anyone), and then your head droops… Biology Formally defined as the study of life. Using this definition, we can redefine biology as the study of misery, pain, and hate. What fun! Chemistry The knowledge of how to make something explode. And, even more importantly, how to not make it explode. Clearly, a critical aspect of science.

Chocolate The solution to every problem. And, btw, Maria’s favorite solution to all her problems. Common Sense An amazingly useful and practical form of intelligence. And one that lots of people lack. :( Earth “Mostly Harmless” ­ from
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Wonder about the accuracy of that one. Epic One of the most epic words in the English language. Ex: “Life is epic, so why die?” –Anonymous Challenge: Guess who the “Anonymous” is. Forty­Two Everyone should know this one, but for those who don’t, 42 is… a number. Geo Honors Undefined [yet] Girls­are­evil proof First we state that girls require time and money:
Girls = Time * Money And as we all know “time is money”:
Time = Money Therefore
Girls = Money * Money = Money ^ 2 And because “money is the root of all evil”:
Girls = (square root of evil) ^ 2

So, we conclude that:
Girls = Evil.

*Note: This proof is codswallop, and I found it online. Glitter glue An easy 100 on your homework. :P Highlighter Highlighter + Hair (preferably light) = easy solution to boredom during class Homework An “educational” way to waste your free time. And the “educational” part does not quite make up for the “waste” part. Lemons The one thing that surprisingly can turn even the craziest people crazier. ;) Logic The art of being able to be wrong, yet still confident. Math My favorite subject to write an ode about. ;) My English teacher can verify the previous statement. Mechanical pencil The name says it all. Money Some consider it to be the key to success. Others even consider it to be the key to happiness. I believe it is the key to conquering the world. Not that I ever considered it. [evil grin]

Nerdiness A condition where the want to learn overpowers common sense.

P.E. Some consider it to be a torture device, but that’s because they don’t realize that it is an excellent reason to yell at people and throw flying plastic discs at their heads. Ex: “You hit me in the head w/ a football!!” Pencil A pencil
Is a writing utensil. ;) Cheesy… I know... Physics The branch of science that deals with creating long and complicated formulas for how a stone will roll down a hill. ⇠ extremely important in daily life :P Pre­algebra Urggh! Pain beyond pain. From what I have heard about it, see “boredom” entry if you haven’t