Confessions of The Midnight Tweaker: The Finished Paper
Written in late July, 2001, by an 18 year old white suburban Phoenix male.
I have been using crystal meth regularly for approximately seven months. Collected here are my memories, my experiences, my knowledge, all that I have found out, the truth as I know it. This is written and distributed with two intents:
1) Liberating myself from methamphetamine addiction.
2) Providing information for those unfamiliar with meth
3) Start a path of recovery for those who are trying to get off it themselves.
3) Helping others through their addiction by providing personal support
4) Talking to people about not doing it to begin with.
Confessions of The Midnight Tweaker is a long story, but it's my story, it's my time on the soap box. Might take you twenty minutes to read, but I promise you it's one of the most important things you could read and may hopefully put you on the road to a total recovery if you are addicted or provide self-enlightenment so you never have to be where I am now. Would that I could remove all meth from the Earthen face, but in absence, I can only provide you with information. It's up to you where you want to go from here. I didn't have anything like this when I started tweaking nor did I really bother to look. Now, I have provided more information and hope it assists you in making a choice.
This is a true story, a story written sparing no detail, a story written from my heart, a story for the compassion of my fellow man. It's a story I hope everybody reads. It will be shocking, unnerving, gross, frightening, unbelievable, but it's the dirty truth.
But before we begin, I'd like you to think about anybody you know that might be using amphetamines. I want you to replace them as the subject of this story as you read and think hard about what they're going through. Amphetamine addiction is very serious and we do no favor to our victimized friends by casting them away as dirty tweakers. Read them this story, show it to them, make sure they know about what I write.
In closing, I'd like to remind you all that a little faith in God never hurt anybody. He's there for us all in our times of peril--just before I wrote this paragraph I prayed a bit and I now feel he will help me out of the crystal chasm. Seek strength in our Lord, and you will be better for having done so. The funny thing is, I'm not religious.
Unlimited distribution of this paper in its uncensored entirety is encouraged. Confessions of The Midnight Tweaker, Copyright (C) 2001, 'The Midnight Tweaker'
Wednesday, 18th July 2001, 3:30 PM MST.
[Note: I edited this paper for clarity and made considerable additions since I first composed this section. --TMT]
I don't really remember how long I've been up but it looks like it's gonna be another night for me. Crystal methamphetamines are so fucked up it's funny. You keep doing it over the course of the whole day or two--like I do--and for the first little while it's fun, but for the next two, three days--70 hours is my personal stay-awake record; five or six days is not uncommon for the seasoned tweaker. The third day, you're burned out, itch all over, tired, aching, sick to your stomach, getting stalked by the shadow people, you swear to yourself you'll never touch it again. You wonder why it came to this, you pray to God hoping He'll get you out of this mess, and you finally manage to get some sleep, not before swearing it off for good.
The next day, you do it again.
As you wake up, the tweak is the first thing you think about and it's on your mind till you get some more--Hearing or reading the words 'ice, glass, crack, speed, fast, tweak, crystal, meth,crank, rock' drives you crazy because you can't have any. Being out of your lifedrug sucks SO much harder than tapping-out the keg too early or cashing the bong.