Miscommunication In Deborah Tannen's But What Do You Mean?

Words: 835
Pages: 4

There is a certain amount of difficulty when it comes to the thought of being put inside of a stereotypical box, especially when it’s gender specified. What can bring out a whole new level of insecurity is when it is relatable in a negative way. Though disagreeing with Deborah Tannen’s areas of miscommunication can be an easy way to ignore the downfalls as a woman, with her article “But What Do You Mean?” should not be taken with a grain of salt; as there is something to be said about the levels of explanation she expressed to make her point valid. Tannen can shed light on certain phrases and tones that can consequently lead toward better communication between males and females. The “Fighting” section stuck out as a definite problem that I wanted to find a solution to, so learning to find common ground in disagreements helped me to hash my problems with more understanding, be taken more seriously, and not to feel so fragile.
Perhaps wondering how to settle problems between males and females should be the age-old question; but how can this come about? I once thought it could easily be done by just agreeing with what my husband says, like when it comes to the way renovations in our home should be taken care of, which is a common argument we have. Because of these frequent disagreements, I
…show more content…
The explanations and examples given by Deborah Tannen in “But What Do You Mean?” helped me in realizing that I do conform to the gender role Tannen puts on women and that my husband is exactly as she describes men. Because of this, her article helped me see more of an understanding of our differences in communication style. Frequently working on these downfalls by just associating ourselves daily with simple debates can boost confidence, and keep us both from