October 24, 2013
No communication, No love
Among the years, the way of marriage has been changing in different ways in our society. Couples don’t have enough time to know each deeply before they get marry. Many years ago, marriage was meaning for couples to stay together for the rest of their lives. They would stay till one of them passed away; however, the other person would stay widow until his/her times come up to leave this world and to go catch up their love in heaven . Back then, people got married because their parents planned everything; they choose who would marry their son. They did this mainly because of the benefits they could get between both of the families and to be specific; it was just for money. Even though those marriages were business for their families, they were still being successful for the couple. In these days, society has changed in the way of why people got married and how they see marriage. There are several causes that produce divorce as: communication, domestic violence, and money.
A way that a marriage comes to a break up is because couples’ communication. Couples of today are immature in order of taking responsibilities. Many of them might not share their thinking or feeling about how life of marriage is for him/her because they might be afraid to hurt their partner feeling. However, their partner may not feel comfortable to talk to him/her because he/she might be more an open person and the other is a closed person. Most of the time, there isn’t a good communication in couples who just got married because they want to give a family to a baby. For example, my friend got married at the age of eighteen because she got pregnant. A result, he didn’t have a good relationship with her boyfriend; she did not feeling comfortable to talk to him about her family problems. Working a lot of hours brings a big problem between couples in order for them to relax and to have a conversation. For example, when my dad comes to home, he just wants to take a shower, or to have dinner. When he can have a conversation with my mom, he prefers to watch television. Couples can also lose their communication because of their culture. As In Iran, the couple’s parents do a deal for the benefit of their son and daughter get marry, so that it doesn’t give couples to know each other before they get marry. They will not always have that confidence to have a good understanding to each other. The communication between couples is very important when they want to make a decision in their marriage life. If couples don’t have a good communication at the beginning of their relationship, then they will make it be the cause of leading with divorce.
Many couples have severe domestic violence problems that can bring them to split their marriage. Many times their spouses’ can abuse of the alcohol every time he/she has a fight with his/her partner or whenever they have a bad day at work. There is where he/she starts to argue with his/her partner; he/she gets slap, gets kick, gets push anywhere or gets punch at his/her face. In a study of 256 Korean men by Conjugal Violence in Korean American Families in Chicago and Queens in 1993, the 6.3% of the men committed “severe violence” as kicking, biting, and threating with a gun or knife. Couples’ influences can be the reason of how their spouses behave or act. However, their friends might be a bad influence for one of the couple in order to use drugs mixed with alcohol inn their marriage. It’s bad because it can make the person become brave and aggressive, and that’s when violence gets involve. However, their family background can be the problem of why the person is violent. In many cases, there are traumas where the spouse saw how his/her parents headed the family with violence and he thinks is something normal. Violence has be squeezing in more and more in young couples that make them have different ways to see life. They think that their problems are