Paragraph Writing Problems 11b And 11c Essay

Submitted By chennycake
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Paragraph writing problems

Walker conveys a sense of freedom where the persona expresses her inner thoughts about expressing herself from a distant language using emotive language within the sustained metaphor of a ‘borrowed dress’.
MENTIONING TECHNIQUES IN THE TOPIC SENTENCE/ DO NOT USE EMOTIVE LANGUAGE AS A TECHNIQUE

‘Without words there are no rule books, without words there are no lies’, a quote that uses repetition to describe the impact of language or words on the freedom of an individual.
DON”T START SENTENCES WITH A QUOTE/ MAKE SURE IT SOUNDS LIKE A SENTENCE NOT A DOT POINT

Walker revealed this freedom through the tone that is described through the symbols shown. The symbols of nakedness and silence portray the tone of the poem.
NAME THE TONE AND STATE WHAT THE SYMBOLS REPRESENT

Throughout ‘In Translation’ Walker makes a notable effort to convey how the persona would feel freedom in a world without language.
DON’T REVIEW THE WORK-JUST ANALYSE IT/ AVOID GENERALISATIONS SUCH AS ‘THROUGHOUT

Amelia Walker conveys the sense of freedom found in a world without language through ‘In Translation’. (THINK ABOUT THE BEST PLACE TO END THE SENTENCE/ AVOID REPEATING YOURSELF) because she expresses this idea of the persona who speculates about an unravelling moment of language and coming into a state of freedom.

Walker alludes to the persona’s desire to ‘unravel’, to be free as she ‘picks at its frays trying to imagine…if this language and I were to unravel into nakedness’, pondering on the thought that if language did not exist, then the persona would feel she did not have to cover or wrap her identity in a dress of lies ‘to blend into streets and aisles’. NO MATTER HOW NICE IT SOUNDS IN THE SENIOR SCHOOL YOU MUST ANALYSE THE LANGUAGE IE TECHNIQUES!!!

Using anaphora, Walker suggests that there would be a lack of, or as advocated, no oppression and tribulations without words: ‘Without words there are no rule books, without words there are no lies.’ The effect of this technique and the rather serious tone she adopts emphasise the reality of her statements, that it is not to be taken critically.
DON’T OVERWRITE-MAKE YOUR POINT CLEAR

Walker structures the poem through sensory imagery, in which she defines these restrictions as a sense of her inner feelings being trapped: ‘secretly I pick at its frays…if this language and I were to unravel into nakedness…without words there are no lies.’ Through this, Walker is able to emphasise the positive results that could be revealed if she was not suffocating her true self due to this language.
THE QUOTE HAS TO MATCH THE TECHNIQUE AND THE SENSORY IMAGERY (TACTILE/ VISUAL ETC) MUST BE IDENTIFIED

Repetition is used as the language technique to convey the message of the potential…