Postpartum depression Essay

Submitted By mommydestiny7711
Words: 999
Pages: 4

Perhaps, one of the most unpleasant feelings someone can experience in life is being unhappy with yourself. We are so quick to notices other peoples flaws and imperfections, we rarely ever look at ourselves enough to analyze and see our own qualities. If we do, we may notices many things about ourselves that we wish weren’t there, or would go away. I try to stay positive with myself, but even with my best qualities, I can be insecure, impatient, and quite lazy. Although I’ve taught myself to live with my flaws. There is one particular trait I wouldn’t mind erasing from my personality, and that is my own need to try and please everyone. It’s almost human nature to want to help people, and be there for those who need you. But imagine having to make a decision to intense it could impact the entire outcome of someone you really love and care about, life. It’s either doing what’s best for the family you’ve created, or leaving your own mother, the person who created you, potentially homeless. After countless arguments, sadness, heart break, anger, and a whole lot of tension in your family, you finally make your decision. When you have two children, and you still live with your mother, life can be somewhat complicated. My children and I shared one small bed room. I had my full-sized bed, each of my daughter’s toddler-sized beds, two dressers, all your children’s toys, and your own personal belongings in a room about the size of the average bathroom. A rectangle shaped room, maybe 15 feet, by 20 feet. And 5 nights a week, your boyfriend and his belongings were sleeping in that room with you. My boyfriend and I had to be so careful in our room, because we didn’t want to wake my kids up while they were napping, or sleeping at night. And what was worse, we had to stay in our room a good part of the day because of my sister with down-syndrome and my kids would set her off into tantrums, and she would just get mean, and end up hurting someone. And you had to choose between staying there and helping your mother with rent because the only money she had coming in was from my disabled sister, knowing if you moved out, your mother would have no way of paying the full $800 a month for rent. Or moving into a house of your own where your children could have their own bedroom, their own space, and becoming more independent, and thrive. Being able to live in a home with the family you’ve created, and have the space to give them the best life possible. I tried to explain to my mother that I’m 19, and I wanted to move out and start living on my own. And that’s when all hell broke loose. I could almost see the smoke coming out of my mother’s ears. She went on and on for weeks about how I’m being selfish because she can’t afford to pay rent without the 600$ a month I was paying. I needed to think of her, and what would happen to her if I moved out. The guilt trips were endless. She didn’t even see my point of wanting to move out, and how I was just trying to give my kids what I felt they deserved. When faced with decisions like this, you start weighing out all the pros and cons. And in situations like this, your conscious plays a huge part in your decision making. You really don’t want to leave your mother with no way to pay her rent and end up homeless with my disabled. But you…