What I plan to do is to discuss cultural and individual psychological barriers to love and intimacy, then the theory of love, and finally some tools for lovers. I will be speaking primarily of heterosexual relationships but all of what I say will apply equally to same sex unions, to the best of my knowledge.
In his article on commitment in relationships Doherty points out that UU’s have been in something of a bind. For years religious liberals have been advocating freedom from the shackles of orthodox religion in matters of divorce. In doing so however, we are in a sense degrading the sanctity of intimate relationships. It is as if we are condoning the idea that marriage is a commodity that can be utilized and then disposed of. Religious liberals thus appear to be supporting the attitude in the culture that we can “trade-up” when the going gets rough in marriage and one’s “needs” are not being met. There is a tendency to think of love as something we “get” rather than “give.” In a consumer-oriented society transactions are most often