TH 114 - Christopher M. Montpetit
Edward the Troll and the 3 Bully Billy Goats
Everyone knows the story of the 3 Billy Goats Gruff, but have you ever wondered why the troll seemed so mean? I’d like to tell you the story as I know it to be, and see if your opinion on the matter changes. Once upon a time there was a troll named Edward. It’s a hard life being a troll, you smell even when you’re clean, you grow a beard in the 3rd grade, and you are never tall enough to ride any amusement park rides. Edward grew up under a bridge by a small river not crossed often. After school he would spend his days in the green fields picking flowers, talking to the ladybugs and eating grasshoppers. In class, all the other students would make fun of him and call him names. They would hide his books on tall shelves and throw bits of paper at him trying to get them stuck in his beard. The worst of the offenders were 3 brother goats. They were loud and obnoxious and ate anyone’s lunch they wanted, even tearing through the trash cans after class! They picked on Edward every chance they got even though they never took the time to talk to him. It eventually got so bad that Edward decided he didn’t need to go to school and he would spend his days in his field and his river enjoying the beauty of his bridge. Because he lived on the outskirts of town he didn’t have to anyone, and he quite liked that idea. Eventually as the years went on, the town became overrun with all sorts of creatures and animals. There was an influx of possums, raccoons and other nocturnal creatures who partied all night with no regard for the other inhabitants. The town’s grassy fields, and placid ponds became used up, and dry. Many of the animals in town left to find greener pastures and fresh water elsewhere, while Edward stayed blissfully unaware under his bridge. One day while he was enjoying the slight sounds of the river he heard a terribly loud clonk clock clonk overhead. He looked out and who do you think he saw? It was the youngest of the brother Billy goats who had bullied him horribly! What was he doing? Did he think he could just come to his bridge and play in his fields and eat his green grass? Edward had grown some thicker skin through the years and decided this just would not do. Although he didn’t have a mean bone in his body he decided that the goat didn’t know that, he hadn’t seen him in years. So Edward found his dirtiest hat, his old worn out shoes he used to hold crawfish he caught and a musty old jacket that had washed up on the river bank. Now he looked the part of a mean ole troll. He jumped out from under his bridge and yelled in his most fearsome voice he could muster. “Who goes there?!?” The goat stopped in his tracks and replied timidly, “My name is Billy. Please don’t hurt me, I only wish to cross your bridge, I’m hungry and only need a little of your grass to eat”. Edward tried his hardest to remain in character and told Billy that he wasn’t allowed to cross and if he tried Edward would gobble him up. To this Billy replied that he would much rather wait for his older brother Bill. “He is following behind me and will be much more filling to eat”. Edward knowing good and well that he wouldn’t eat a goat let Billy pass reluctantly. What was he going to do now?
It was only a little grass he had to share? Hopefully When Bill came Edward could scare them off and not have to bother with these silly billy goats again. A few minutes later Edward heard a familiar clonk clonk clonk on the bridge, he tried to muster up some extra mean in his voice and as he jumped out yelled even louder this time, “Who goes there?!?”. Bill stopped in his tracks, looks at the troll and said with a little fear in his voice, “Please sir, my name is Bill, I was following my brother and wish to cross your bridge, we’re hungry and the grass looks so good” Edward puffed out his chest and told Bill that is he tried to