Essay about Steroids Satire

Submitted By ilkepaste
Words: 1005
Pages: 5

Personal Enabled Downfall
Sports are a great creation. They draw in millions of fans with huge sporting events that greatly improve the economy. “The sports industry as a whole brings roughly $14.3 billion in earnings a year… The industry also contributes 456,000 jobs with an average salary of $39,000 per job” (Burrow). Not only do they benefit the economy, they can improve personal lives as well. If you are like me and hate sitting on exercise machines for several hours but love to exercise, sports are another way to stay active. But why just play the sport for fun when you can get paid millions to play? According to Forbes, Professional boxers Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao make more than $40 million dollars annually. (The World's Highest-Paid Athletes) If these two athletes make $40 million dollars a year from punching other guys in the face, then what is stopping you from making millions? These athletes have been playing these sports their whole life, so it is almost impossible for someone to become a professional in just a few years or even months. So how does one reach the status of a “professional athlete”? For most people, daily practice and training would be the first option in achieving this goal. Yet for a great deal of people, the problem with practice and training is that it takes too long and requires too much energy. A solution to this dilemma has been performed by thousands of athletes worldwide. Performance-enhancing drugs such as stimulants and steroids, can help anyone achieve the same results as practice and training can in half the time.
There are several types of performance-enhancing drugs, or PEDs. Lean mass builders and stimulants being the most popular. Lean muscle builders are used to intensify the development of muscles and reduce recovery time. Most commonly used lean muscle builders are steroids. Steroids have been used by some the greatest baseball players and body builders. Body builder Arnold Schwarzenegger, a previous consumer of steroids, moved on from body building to become a successful actor and eventually even governor of California. He is a great example of where PEDs can take someone. Other than steroids, stimulants have been known to be used by athletes as well. Stimulants enhance attention, efficiency, and concentration. Some of the most forceful and intense athletes have used stimulants to increase their performance either during training or in public competition. Lance Armstrong, one of the greatest cyclists to ever compete, won the Tour de France seven times in a row with some help from PEDs. Armstrong said in an interview, “it was this ruthless desire to win. Win at all costs, truly. It served me well on the bike” (Fortune). He became so successful to the point where he was even a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show. His appearance on her show was a STIMULATING topic for months. Just like Lance, anyone can use PEDs and become successful in their specific sport without the need of intensive training and conditioning. Other than having more energy and strength, certain PEDs can also have a slew of other benefits.
For anyone looking to become a quick moving or long distance male athlete, steroids are a great way to improve your speed and performance. The first reason that steroids are great is that they increase your aggression. My middle school volleyball coach always said, “Be more aggressive!” If I took steroids in middle school, I could have been a professional athlete by now. Another benefit is over time, after continuous use, your body will become more aerodynamic. Hair will begin to disappear and some body parts will even begin to shrink giving you a more streamlined shape. Steroids not only have benefits for men, there are secret benefits for women as well.
For female athletes that are bored of the female competition and you would like to join the men’s league, take