Essay On Personal Attachment Styles

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Individual Attachment Style and Relationships

My attachment style is very close and centered around my grandmother. She mainly raised me while my mother was at work and she spent most of her time cooking for me, cleaning up behind me, and getting me out of trouble when necessary. I have found myself to develop this attachment style where I find it easy to be around many people. I find it easy to develop a very close relationship with them. I am totally comfortable and develop and trust relationship quickly. My grandmother was someone who I told all of my problems too when I came home from school. When I played sports, she would come to every game and support me in my efforts to be a valuable basketball player. Here I find myself having a grown-up but yet an infant attachment style. When my grandmother came to see me play at one of my basketball games, I would put on a great show to try to impress her. I would play my hardest to prove to her that I was a good player. This seems rather strange because I do recall times where my mother came to see my play basketball at one of the games and I don’t recall acting the same way. My mother was not there as much for me as my grandmother was so I had developed a more secure relationship or attachment to my grandmother. Where in our text it stated that in a secure attachment style, the infant would explore more confidently with the toys when its’ mother was present in the room but would not when a stranger was present in the room. I was totally confident while my grandmother was there but not as confident when my mother was present. In my life today, I still have secure attachment styles with some of my very close friends. I have one friend where I am more secure than the others. In my relationship with her, I find myself telling her all of my most inner feelings. I have developed a relationship with her where I feel that I can trust her with anything. She knows more of my personal side than even my closest family members. From my past relationship with my grandmother has evolved this secure relationship. I have surrounded myself with feelings of respect and trust for her and she has developed the same for me. Just talking with her on a day by day basis satisfies my need of having someone close to talk too where my secrets are kept safe and protected. I feel that I do not have to worry about anything that I tell her and that it will not be passed around like a hot potato. I feel that trust is one of the strong characteristics that I look for in people and that means a lot to me when I can say that I trust you. When I talk to her, I can sense her humbleness and her softer side and willingness to listen to what I have to say. This has drawn me very close to her. I have developed the same traits as she pours out all of her little secrets and feelings to me. We talk about everything and share all of our most inner thoughts. She keeps me in tuned to being very personal with her and makes me feel that I don’t need any of my other friends. Feeling this way has led to what I think is yet another attachment style that I may have. I am very confident in my relationship with her and feel as if I don’t need anyone else. I believe I have become this self-reliant individual who does not
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