For example it has hit me in a different way. Dad i want you know i really loved you as a father. No one else could ever replace you in life im sorry im gonna put you guys through this i really didnt want it to come down to this. Please dont cry i tried not to cry writing this letter but i had no other choice just i was being told to kill myself over and over again in my head i just cant handle it anymore
Mom as we may have our up and downs i still love ou as a mom and nothing well ever change that and im sorry im putting you through this. I dont want you guys to have to worry about me anymore
Atleast well know i will be in a better place. The place i think ill be happy and joyful. Courtney i want you to know that i truly love you and i tried not to cry everytime i typed a letter i honestly cant tell you how much i love you and if i could marry one person in this life it would be you and one in the next life it would be you no one honestly has ever made me feel the way you. I know ive treated you wrong alot of time but i honestly didnt want to treat you that way. Im sorry i was a real ass hole and jerk to you i hope you can forgive me and i want you to know im sorry for leaving this world and leaving you alone but your a really beautiful and intelligent women you can make it far in this world i know you can i trust you. I want you to take the dog tag you given me and wear it and think of me. Im sorry if im being selfish and cruel about this . I really didnt want it to end like this . Just everyone Know it not your fault I love you its just to much to live with. I dont know how to cope with all this and i just thought it was the only way to make myself happy so i tried to make myself happy and im sorry it required me to make others around me sad.
UPDATED courtney what the fuck is do you mean honestly throw the 15 months you really hurt me and this is a really fucking hard time and i just dont know how to cope with it. I lost you and might aswell have lost life itself. Thing is u