As you both know, I have been finishing up my degree online and I am currently taking a class on interpersonal communications, which is why you two have asked for my advice. From my readings, “By communicating with others, you can establish your uniqueness and importance in a group, build and retain relationships, and earn the respect of others.” (Sole, 2011) It is very important to keep in mind that good communication skills are seen as a foundation in your relationship, communicating with your significant other should be the most important part of the relationship. Building a strong base of communication in a relationship is very important for the success of your new journey into marriage together. As you both begin this journey together, there are a few things to keep in mind you two should find different ways to communicate as life gets busy. Learning new ways to stay in tuned with each other should bring you guys closer as a couple and create a bond of communication. Let us remember that during the process of communication, there has to be active listening in order to actually hear what our counterpart is trying to say.
Let us also take consideration of our own self-disclosures; you should both take into consideration that everyone has a past. There are certain things that we have to consider when inquiring about your partners past, some things are better left to unknown. There is also the benefit of mutually disclosing your inner most intimate thoughts to each other, because it shows the trust you have built with one another. Sole States, “When these differences are small or judged to be insignificant by both parties, they can be ignored. Insignificant issues are still worth discussing, however.” (Sole, 2011) I think the vulnerability that you are showing your partner will giver you the strength to open up without fear of being rejected. I think this is important for you and your partner to know that there is a bond that you may share and build from for the success of your relationship.
As you look to this letter for advice before embarking on this journey with the hopes of finding thoughts that positively impact your life together, I hope to give you some helpful advice. Understanding communication skills is very important to build confidence within each other to feel trust each other enough to be that person to turn to for the support needed from the other person. Communication is the key for a successful relationship of any sort, especially in marriage, because if the communication skills are weak then there is room for misunderstandings in the relationship. In my readings, “Three common communication problems in relationships stem from the following behaviors of one or both parties: (1) silence or refusing to communicate; (2) placating, which means to soothe or calm someone by being nice or by giving in to demands; and (3) playing games.” (Sole, 2011) These three points should be looked at as very important factors to make or break your relationship. The more you two begin to communicate on a daily basis, the better you begin to understand each other on a more intimate level. As we all may know each relationship comes with different struggles, by avoiding the three listed above that will definitely help you build a stronger line of communication with each other in the years to come.
Although, both perspectives will never be exact, with every difference of opinion is an opportunity to learn that other persons on any given subject building and strengthening that bond. With each understanding of each other’s perspective is an opportunity to avoid misunderstandings that may lead to an argument. In reality, humans in general have that need to share their thoughts, goals, and desires making it important as a couple to share some of these common interests. As read, “Unless the differences between the people are numerous, however, issues that can be easily changed, such as those related to daily