Nessa is a single, 42 years old kindergarten teacher; she has a Master degree in education and is always getting more training and degrees in the educational area. When Nessa was 13 she wants to learn to swim. She and her family used to go to the beach all the time with the people from the neighborhood and the church, everybody know everybody and trust one another. One summer day, they had one of their usual trips to the beach; she used to spend most of the time in the beach playing with the sand and on the shore because she didn’t know how to swim. One of the neighbors came and asks her why she didn’t go on the water to play with the other kids and her answer was that she didn’t know how to swim. The men offer to teach her how to swim so she can enjoy playing in the water. The man was one of his father friends and knows her since she was a baby, so she agrees to go in the water with him. At that time most of the people of Nessa’s group have left to have lunch, including her family.
In the water the men took her deep in, were she could not stand by herself, told her that she was beautiful and start touching her. She resists, she screams and fights but every time she tries to go away she has to come back to his arms because she was afraid to drown. The men told her that if she did not make silent and stop fighting he would let her go and she would drown. She had to let the men kiss and touch her in her private parts until the people from her group start returning to the beach. The men took her to the shore and told her not to tell anybody or he would hurt her and her father.
Nessa feels guilty and ashamed about the attack. She wishes she never trust in that men. She stops going to the neighborhood trips and having male friends at school. She never goes to the water in the beach or even wear bathing suit, she likes to have the control in every situation. She always avoids being alone with men in close spaces and never had long romantic relationships because she cannot bear any kind of sexual contact. She had problems trusting and opening herself to other people, especially men. She is overweight and never wear dresses, make up or anything that she believes can arouse men.
With the years she has slowly withdraw herself from others, including her own family. She is constantly depress and is gradually refusing all contact with others. She likes to stay alone, reading and cleaning. Nessa never told anybody about the incident until she was 36 because she was ashamed to tell her parents and other people about it, she feels it was her fault because she wants to learn to swim and instead of asking to her family she trusts in somebody she shouldn’t. Nessa and her family are very religious and she decided open to her family about the incident and search for help went she start to have suicidal thoughts.
Unfortunately Nessa’s incident is a very common one, a child that has been molest and as a consequence of this traumatic event has deep emotional scars. Nessa has developed feelings of shame and guilt that had deeply affected her trust in others. She considered interactions with other people (especially men) potentially dangerous. Nessa experienced a threat to her physical integrity; during the water incident she felt powerless and horrified. She is traumatized and as consequences she suffers from depression; she never feel like doing anything else but study by herself and feels that the future does not hold anything for her. She shows traits typical of people who have eating disorders; she tries to make herself as unattractive as possible to men. She also has suicidal thoughts. It is necessary to pay particular attention to people who express suicidal feelings after a traumatic experience.
Nessa needs deep counseling and spiritual guide. She needs to realize that she is not guilty for what it happens to her and that she deserves to have joy, love and fun. That she can trust in…