I always asked myself why I put myself down. If people will give me a compliment about my clothes, work or simply how I look, I’m quick to think something negative. I’m always complaining about what I see in the mirror. I will always find a flaw on me before I say something nice about myself. Truth be told I am a victim of verbal abuse, which caused me to have low-self esteem.
My low self esteem started when I was 13, I could still hear my mom and uncles laugh at me calling me all kind of nicknames like, gorda which means fat girl in Spanish or fea which means ugly in Spanish. In my family I was always known as the tall, funny , ugly one. I remember when my uncles would tell my mom that I saved her a lot of money because she won’t have to worry about me getting married. They say that you’re family are the people to go to when you have a problem or someone hurts you, well my family were the ones hurting me.
In a Mexican family, when their daughter turns 15 they throw a big party called a quincenera, celebrating that their little girl is no longer little and she is now becoming a young lady. Well I didn’t have one because I didn’t think I was slim enough to wear a big dress or be in front of my entire family and friends. Just because I was worried about what people thought about my party or me in the dress. Now I think about it and it hurts that I will not have a beautiful memory to share with my daughter if one day I get a chance to be a mother.
Still till this day my low-self esteem has took a toll in my life, especially in my relationship with my boyfriend, friends and work. When I go out on a date with my boyfriend, we have problems because of me. I feel…