English 1 Section:1934
Nov 10, 2014
Outline: Way to Talk to People
Thesis: Girls want to talk about themselves, understand their feeling and not talking to a dumbass. I: Let them talk about themselves
A. Give them time to respond (Tannen)
B. Listen to what they are trying to say
C. Process what they said and think thoroughly how to respond
II: Understanding their feelings
A. Think if you might hurt their feelings
B. Do not use complicated words that they might fail to understand (Lutz)
C. Give compliments
I: Give a moment to understand before reacting to
A. What is the situation? Where are both of you at? What is the proper response
B. Think what is she trying to tell you
C. Use also body language
To be successful you have to learn this skill and apply it in your lives to have a successful conversations. Aricaya, P.2
Way to Talk to People
Communication is complicated part of life. Everyone wants to connect with everybody else; However, all of us are not meant to associate. Deborah Tannen, Author of “But What Do
You Mean” Essay, has talked about the difference in women and men in their conversation behavior. Tannen specified that each person has their own pattern on conversations which leads the outcome of their lives. While another Author, William Lutz, specified that the choice of words is crucial in a conversation for processing information. An easier word choices can be better than a cluster of bewildering words. To communicate better to other people you have to get them talk about themselves, understand their feeling and be able to process what they said before responding. Everyone loves to talking about themselves. I could tell you a million things about me and you could tell me a million things about you, because we know ourselves better than anything else. In that case to get a good talk, a person must fully engage themselves in the conversation, yet talking about themselves for a long period of time can leave the conversation one sided. One must give others the time to receive the message and to respond. In Tannen’s studies she said “Some people simply talk automatically, performing one of the many conversational rituals” (Tannen p.331). One of my friends talk nonstop, specially if it is about sport, as if other people’s opinion about the game does not matter. We would listen about his opinions as he break it down to prove he is right. Tannen explained how listening to what people say is a key to avoid misunderstanding. Listening can lead receivers of the message to process the subject and think thoroughly before to responding, thus leads to less provocative or negative conversations. Aricaya, P.3
More positive and enthusiastic conversation means that we understand ourselves and the people we are talking to. If we do not know what we are saying in a conversation we tend to lose sight of the topic, drifting the subject. An advise from Lutz, William is “Do not use complicated words and sentences that your audience might fail to understand.(gobbledygook).” (Lutz p. 340).
Such complex content in conversation can mislead peoples understandings. According to lutz we often misleads people using complex language, thus making the conversation harder to grasp.
For example are college students, often times college students rephrases content of what they are trying to say to make them more sophisticated to his or her audience, creating a confusion amongst the other students. Most of the time in my class, a professor would ask a question and a student would answer the question with decorated sentences with really fascinating words, thinking he or she could wow everyone in the room with her word choices.
Analyzing the conversation is also a key to having great conversations. It is good to have the skills of listening and understanding, but you have to know how to respond or what you say or it could lead to a