Weeds: A Personal Note On Weed

Words: 1294
Pages: 6

Weeds
How can anyone tell a young girl that she needs to lose a few pounds? My own father has said to me that I could lose weight. This is what planted the killer weed in my brain. It began to kill the positive things I thought about myself causing me to thing awful things about myself. This weed is what killed my body positivity. The comment you said to me a year ago, about how I should wear more make up because I’m ugly, still burns in the back of my head. My body image has been torn to shreds by men and women I am finally finding the strength to kill the weed that has taken so much away my happiness.
There comes a point in everyone’s life where they don’t feel good enough, they feel as if everything they do to try to be better, is in
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I remember one of them turning to me and saying,” you are so fat and disgusting you make me sick”. Then he turned to the boy sitting next to him and he said, “she’s pretty ugly too”. My world came crashing down; I didn’t understand why someone would say this to me. To this day I still remember this clearly, and when I see these boys in class I want nothing more that to make them feel the way I did. The resentment I fell toward them is overwhelming. No amount of complements can erase what they said; it will always burn in the back of my head.
As I progressed through junior high I started to change, but not at the rate some girls were and I was starting hate my body. I had to buy bigger clothes because my pants were too short and tight and my shirts became too small. I was frustrated; I felt like my body was betraying me. I was not fitting the standards that the media and boys around me had set.
Moving onto high school I looked at my body and was so disgusted by it could hardly look in a mirror. One day I was eating macaroni and cheese and my dad told me if I kept eating it that I was going to get fat and that I wouldn’t be able to find a boyfriend. It was in that moment that I decided that I didn’t deserve food that wasn’t good for