Weighted Blanket Essay

Submitted By underwok
Words: 835
Pages: 4

Kionna Underwood
Comp 1

It is a universally understood concept that being a teenager is not easy; however, being a teen is even harder when depression is involved. Depression is a mood disorder characterized by feelings of sadness, anxiety, and frustration that stay for long periods of time and interfere with someone’s every day life. I have lived with severe depression and anxiety for seven years. I am nineteen. My disorder has changed the way I live my life and every day affects the way I interact with other people, how people view me -- from the limited knowledge they’ve received through the media-- and the way I choose my priorities. While living with depression is difficult I have managed to maintain a normal life for myself, and I hope to one day beat the disorder. Depression is primarily a mental issue, and it strongly affects the way I interact with other people. I often find it hard to focus on what people are saying to me, and it takes a lot of concentration to hold a conversation. I have been accused of having selective hearing by a friend. She once told me, “I think you do it for attention. You aren’t retarded; your brain works just fine!” But the reality of the situation is that my brain doesn’t always work as well as I’d like it to. There have been occasions where I’m speaking to someone and the words fly out of my mind. It’s worse than simply going blank; instead, I’ve lost all sense of time and place. I am in a haze and I have to fight to pay attention. It takes me a few moments to look at who I was speaking to and rarely do I recall the topic without prompting. It is embarrassing and many times the conversation has ended there because of my mishap. However, I still manage to retain a few solid friendships despite the handicap to my social skills. Living with depression has not only impeded my social activity, but has also affected the way other people see me. The media portrays those with depression symptoms as sad and emotional. This is not true. I am not always sad, but sometimes devoid of all emotion. There are days when I cannot physically get out of my bed. Not because I am lazy, but because my mind doesn’t have the strength it takes to face the day. It is easier to lay there than it is to try and ghost through the day with other people. When friends and relatives find out that I have depression they try to convince me otherwise. “You smile all the time,” they say, as if depressed people can only cry and frown. The majority of those who find out start to treat me differently. Some think I’m lying--as if I were trying to steal attention for myself. Some think I’m a tainted human and if they spend too much time around me they’ll catch it too. It hurts to see them all drifting away from me, but the truth is I am not contagious, only mentally crippled at times. While depression has hindered my public