What Is Making Me Unhappy In This Relationship

Submitted By ktb652
Words: 1002
Pages: 5

Kaitlyn Breault

Today you weren’t expecting anything out of the ordinary just the same old, same old. There was no expectation of meeting the guy of your dreams but it happens! The first five months of lovey dovey, kissing every chance you have, your hands starting to mold together because they’re separated , and gazing into each other’s eyes with no feeling of wanting to blink were the memories you won’t forget. Then there was a fork in the road and he went right and you went left. Now it’s the stage no one likes to get to, breaking up. But what I am about to tell you are five tips to making the decision easier and help the feeling of regret fade quicker. The first person that needs to be worried about is not the other partner but yourself. Questions such as, “what is making me unhappy in this relationship” needs to be asked because those needs to be explained during the process of breaking up with them. “A second category of…another’s actions” (pg 75 chapter3). This explains that if you’re unhappy with your partner because he is not meeting an expectation that you hold so that thought might run through your head every day. You might react negatively to that partner all the time so the partner might change their actions towards you negatively. First tip: Figure out your self-fulfilling prophecy because “To say I love you one must first be able to say I” (quote site). If you’re a guy reading this then tip two might make you see yourself never before. Tip 2: Recognizing and knowing the guidelines to express emotion. But what if expressing emotion is like starting and trying to finish an essay in one night, possible but very little inspiration to complete. First step is to recognize the feelings by monitoring nonverbal behaviors or your thoughts. Second is to choose the best language in recognizing these feeling. The best way to do this is to get a list of all emotions and begin to narrow down which feelings best describe the state of mind you are in. By narrowing down the feeling the person can narrow down the source of where these feelings are coming from. From personal experience, I wrote down my feelings and who caused them to actually visually see what I was thinking and construct a plan that will change my frightful view of the world that he managed to put in my head. Third step is to recognize the difference between feeling and acting. A person wouldn’t want to lash out at somebody because the anger has overpowered your thought of what is right and wrong. The anger may cause a person to want to say hateful words but after rerunning the situation in your head after, having regret is possible. Fourth and Fifth steps are to act responsible for your feelings and to decide the best time to express these feelings. A person doesn’t have to follow every step or even have to do it all but according to research “At the most basic…that those who don’t” (pg 258 chapter 8) or even look at your friends that talk so much about every problem, next time notice how happy they are all the time. Third Tip: Listen to the needs and concerns of the other person that might be eating them up inside but isn’t comfortable to share. “John Gentile argues that…sense of well being” (pg 211 chapter 7). I believe what Gentiles says because the times I fight with my mom are because I’m doing something that she doesn’t approve of which is originated from careless listening skills .Before approaching the partner learn the reasons for listening which are to understand, to evaluate, to build future relationships, and to help others. Once a person grasps that then determining which of the six different types of listening should benefit the conversation. Supporting, paraphrasing,