Why My Background Story Is Central to My Identity Essay

Submitted By jsimmonds
Words: 652
Pages: 3

Prompt: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. MAXIMUM WORD COUNT: 650 WORDS
As much as I want to hate the hand that I’ve been dealt I cannot. My father has 5 biological children and 2 step-children. I am his biological child; yet, I am the only child that has never heard him say I love you. As a child, I believed that my father’s lack of interest and affection had been my fault so naturally; I tried to resolve the issue. I strived to be someone that my father would be proud to love because I believed that his love would make me happy. I joined every club that my junior high school had to offer and graduated as valedictorian of my class. After walking off of the stage I expected to see my father smiling brightly at me. Instead, I only saw my mother and the empty seat next to her where he should have been. Later, I had confronted my father and asked why he chose to not attend after I had happily gushed about all of my accomplishments at such a young age. It was then that he chose to tell me that it was, in fact, my fault. He then relayed to me at age 13 a statement that I had told him when I was 7 years old; I told him to leave me alone in a classic childhood temper tantrum. It was then I realized that maybe attempting to gain my father’s affection was useless because it was not me, but him who had committed to the twisted relationship that we had. However, I was not ready to give up. I then decided to switch to the opposite end of the spectrum. As I began my freshman year in high school it was then that I decided to purposely miss deadlines and due dates as a tactic to finally receive the attention that I pined for. After utilizing this approach during the entirety of my freshman year I began to comprehend that I would never truly receive the same affection as my brothers and sisters. This moment was truly the first time that I experienced heartbreak. During this segment in my life I had somehow locked myself into my own downward spiral, from which there was nowhere to go but rock bottom. However, I refused to hit rock bottom. I allowed myself to feel shame,…