Preteen years, as most middle schoolers would agree, were difficult times spent struggling trying to fit in. constantly, I caught myself partaking in backstabbing gossip that was incredibly hurtful and immature. My thoughts during these conversations where always the same, “I should stop this. I need to walk way.” I couldn’t do it. Now I realize because of my insecurities as a preteen and the hunger of needing to fit in, it consumed my will power. It is no secret that middle school is a different time for any child. Students are more into each other’s business. They tend to worry about who likes who, who’s going to do what, and make things up about people. Research shows that this increases social pressure, which is created as much by the individual student as by his or her peers. This makes for a difficult period of ups and downs (Tags). These armature concerns follow some people past middle school.
I then asked myself the question, “Why do people feel the need to conform?” As I began my research, I found a term that explains some social behaviors discussed earlier. This term is normative conformity, which is the dominant form of social conformit. A psychologist named Philip Zimbardo explains normative conformity. “We are concerned about making a good impression in front of a group. Though we may disagree secretly with the group opinion, we may verbally adopt the group stance so that we seem like a team player rather than a deviant (Conformity).” What Zimbardo described explains my past experience very clearly.
This also demonstrates a strong correlation to the pessimistic attitude. People want to connect with others, and an easy way to do so is to complain. The saying "Misery loves company" explicates this very nicely. A person might complain to someone else about the weather, such as, "I sure am tired of how hot its been" to which another might agree and share the common interest. Although, people who excessively complain may just have a general negative view on the world, or in cases where ones complaints are directed about others could have issues with jealousy or self-esteem (Psychology).
I found constantly complaining about insignificant manners incredibly exhausting. Throughout the past few years I have noticed a progression in my optimism and positive thinking and a diminutive amount of pessimistic words or complaining. I believe this is because I am much more comfortable with my personality and confident in myself. Realizing I do not have to agree with my peers and partake in their complaints was very freeing. Jack Herrick explains being comfortable in your own skin as a journey. You must be willing to step out of your normal routine if it is not working for you and do things out of the ordinary to get to know yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Remembering that when you are comfortable with yourself, you can be comfortable with others and therefore be successful in life. True, long-lasting self- confidence comes when you are comfortable in your own skin. Being comfortable with yourself is a mind, body, and soul process (Psychology).
As a swimmer, I am constantly in or out of the pool practicing. When I’m not training, the rest of my night is spent trying to keep up with schoolwork. Swim season is the most crucial time for me…